Success Is Broken | Gifty Enright | The Sean Trace Show

I sat down with Gifty Enright and this conversation completely challenged how I think about success, burnout, and what it actually means to live a fulfilling life. 

We talked about how society trains us to chase constant output, wear busyness like a badge of honor, and confuse achievement with well-being, only to realize later that those things can actually pull us further away from who we really are. What hit me most was the idea that success isn’t about how much you do or how much you earn, but whether your life is aligned with your identity, your values, and the things that genuinely light you up. We got into the reality of burnout, the danger of chasing external validation, and how easy it is to wake up one day with everything “on paper” and still feel completely empty inside. This episode is really about stepping back, questioning what you’re chasing, and building a life that actually feels good to live, not just one that looks good from the outside.

So I’ll leave you with this… are you chasing what truly matters to you, or just collecting badges that were never yours to begin with?

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

For my sense, yes, I did a lot of things wrong, but I did a lot of things right as well. As in one of the things I decided quite early on is that I wasn't going to impose any profession on my children. They were free to become whatever they were free to become. So that's one of the things I got right. Because I grew up in that era where, you know, I mean in my culture, it was like it doesn't matter what you're good at, it's like what brings money home. Right? If it doesn't bring money home, no point in even pursuing it. Do you know? Um, and so if you're there chasing something you're not aligned to because it brings money home and all that, you can lose yourself in that. So for me, it's that loss of identity. Coming back home to yourself, what lights you up, doing what lights you up, what is aligned to you, and then you're not busy filling in roles and expectations that are not adding anything to you that you resent, you know, at the at the best of time. And you you just you you you you you wake up one day, you look at all your achievements, and you think, for what? What was all that for?

SPEAKER_00 1:19

Well, welcome everybody back to the Sean Trade Show. I have a really awesome guest with me today. Would you like to tell people who you are and a little bit about what you do?

SPEAKER_03 1:27

Yes, yes. My name is Gifty Enright. Um, I am a speaker and a coach, and I specialize in leadership, women in leadership in the workplace and well-being. So I spent, from my point of view, a hundred years in the corporate space uh working on um IT transformation programs, etc. And um I wrote a book seven years ago now about the juggle, uh particularly for women, of Korea and the workplace, um, and how to avoid burnout. And that's how come I started speaking and coaching. So that's me.

SPEAKER_00 2:12

That's awesome. Well, I mean, burnout is is tough. And I mean, you see a lot of people, and right now with social media, the the hustle culture is glorified. You know, you hear people talking about you want to succeed, you got to do this and this. But you've lived both high performance and burnout. What did you have to unlearn about success to kind of be there?

SPEAKER_03 2:36

Well, so society kind of conditions us to think that um success is constant output. And so that's where we're all on that treadmill, right? Like hamsters and um on that hamster wheel or whatever. And that was what I had to unlearn that success is not constant output, and that rest is not weakness, and also busyness is not worthiness, right? They're not quite the same thing. So you see people so busy, oh, I'm so busy, I'm so busy, and they wear it like a badge of honor because if they say, Oh, I'm so busy, I traveled to 10 different countries last week and I've done this and I've done this, and um, in my day at the start, it was like um pulling all nighters and all that. So if you were the one there pulling all the all-nighters, it meant you know, you're really the one. Of course, now looking back, it's all stupid, of course. But um those things that people look at as the badge of honor, all those things are what a burning is out in terms of success. So the things we're wearing externally as the badges of success, they're all a bit wrong-headed. Um, and so that is what is leading us to burnout. So I had to unlearn about that constant output. I had to unlearn about, you know, rest is not for the weak people, and I had to get my sense of self and worthiness from somewhere else rather than being busy.

SPEAKER_00 4:16

I was a um, it's not a Boy Scout, but something like a Boy Scout. It was my my church group had this group called the Pathfinders, and we would go out and do these activities and we would wear these badges. And I got very good at getting badges. And the funny thing was, is that I didn't know what I was doing after that got the badge. It was just this thing that you go out and learn this stuff, and it was fun, but it didn't necessarily make me a more successful child. It just was something that was, you know, you're going and chasing this stuff, but you then get the badge. And does it make you happier? Well, not always, you know, but yet we're we're so conducive to chase the badges. And now as people get older, they swap out the badges for, you know, I I see it like on LinkedIn. All of these people now who have these certificates. I did this certificate on this thing, I've done this certificate on this thing. And I mean, you know what? If that's what brings you joy, you know, the whole Murray condo, does it bring you joy? Yeah, if it brings you joy, great, you know. But if it doesn't bring you joy, you know, don't don't think that that's always going to be the thing that moves the needle for you, you know. So I I I think that it's really interesting that way you talk about those those badges, because um I had to really quickly learn realize that um sometimes my achievements were running counter to what was actually best for me, you know, and that and I wanted to ask you that because when I was looking over some of what you've you've written, it was like when when did you first realize that achievement and well-being were not the same thing?

SPEAKER_03 6:01

Right. And sometimes they're actually incompatible. Um so because everybody's different, and when I realized it was my body actually that told me that, you know, um this is not right. And so I realized it's not the same thing when I had ticked all the boxes I needed to tick externally, and I was at my most miserable, you know, and you think because you told, you know, the big job, the big house, the car, the kids, the 2.4 dogs, whatever, right? And I had all those things. And sometimes I'll wake up in the morning and I didn't want to start my day. I I just didn't. And I was miserable, and I had a um a list of 14 symptoms I was carrying of things that were wrong with my body, and so my body actually knew it way before my ego. So my ego is still ticking those boxes and doing all the things you have to do externally, and my body's like, nah, something is wrong. You need to stop, you need to listen, you need to align. Do you know? And so, yeah, when I one day looked at all these achievements and people holding me out, some poster girl for some one thing or another, and really realizing how miserable I was, I thought, no, I can't keep doing this. I really can't keep doing this. Something is gonna give. Um, and I I had to take care of my health as well. So that stopped me in my tracks and made me do the sort of vault fast I needed to do to get things right and get into alignment with who I really am rather than chasing what society had dictated that was going to make me happy.

SPEAKER_00 7:56

I love that. The when I was a little kid, I was told that I needed to be a doctor or a lawyer or an astronaut to be happy. And when I did none of them, I as a child, I suddenly was like, oh man, I don't think I'm gonna be able to be a happy adult because I didn't, you know, I I I'm not a doctor or gonna be a this or that. But the the irony is is that I found joy my way, you know, and the thing, one of the things that's a core joy for me is being a father, you know, and I find that being a father is not always in alignment with what people tell me it is important for success. You need to work these 48 hours a day. I'm like, there are not 48 hours in a day. They're like, shut up and do it anyway. Like, whoa, hang on. I want to spend a good amount of time with my daughter. Tomorrow um at nine, from nine till 11:30, I'll be sitting outside her dance rehearsal because for me, you know, taking her to on the weekends, it's her time. It's time that we go to that. We'll do tomorrow, we have um dance class, and then sometimes she does a singing class that she enjoys. She likes doing a crochet class, and I just sit there with her in all these classes, and I will enjoy being present with her, and then at in the night we go to martial arts class together and we have family dinner. Now, I could be spending that Saturday doing extra work and getting extra stuff done. But, you know, for me, I think I found out early on enough that that wasn't a priority. And I still can be successful, but the thing is, is it's like you don't have to do it the way other people say you need to, you know? And I wanted to ask you this. What was the moment you knew you needed to change how you were living and working? Because, you know, everyone's epiphany moment looks different.

SPEAKER_03 9:53

Yeah. Yeah. So my moment was standing in Harley Street in London, and Harley Street is where all the posh doctors are, you know, the expensive consultants and everybody. Um, going to see a consultant with my list of 14 symptoms in terms of what was wrong with me. And I thought, this is insane. This is absolutely insane. You know, um, I have worked, I've built all that and whatnot. I'm going to use all that money just to, you know, look after my ailments. What's the point in that? Why make yourself sick and then why make yourself sick using making money and then have to use that money to, you know, heal yourself? This is just crazy. Why so don't make yourself sick in the first place? Do you know? Um, and this is so going back to something you said, you know, uh about your daughter and the crocheting and and and all that, which is lovely. When my kids were young, for me it was completely wrong-headed. I I was so entrenched and busy building my career and constantly stressed out. And I had the kids because that's what you did. It's not like I I don't love them or anything, I love them to bits, but you know, it was yet another box I was ticking. Do you know? Uh I wanted to be a mother because, yes, I had to be that accomplished woman, you know, and it was part of my accomplishment. And, you know, to have the kids and the husband and the whole shebang, they were part of the kit. Do you know? Um, and so uh and at the same time, you know, have this very demanding job of doing everything and whatever, whatever. And I will tell you now, honestly, was I a present mother? No, I wasn't present. I was physically there, but I'll be on my laptop or my phone. You know, do you know what I mean? So um I wasn't present. And I to this day I always say there's a post I need to write, an apology to my sons for the mother I was then, because my values were not straight from about to fun. You know, and now that is why I'm so passionate about telling young mothers, don't do what I did, because you will end up with an empty life. You know, and like now, and it's always harder to retrofit and go back and whatever, whatever, when the time that they came to you with that worm for you to look at that worm that they dug out from the garden, that was what was building their self-esteem. You looking them in the eye and saying, Oh, yeah, wonderful worm, well done for you know, taking out that worm. That very important job of building their self-esteem, they will come and bring the worm, and I'll be like, Yeah, worm, okay, go play. And I'll be answering that email to my boss, you know. Um, and now I'm a different mother now, thank God. And also, thankfully, also I get the chance to do a do-over and do it again. So um, I'm a completely uh different mother now, but it's just for us, we need to be clear on what our values are. Some people have that gift where they know what is important right off the bat, and so they prioritize. I wasn't one of those people. Do you know? I wasn't one of for me, what was important was, you know, get that big job, get that house, get that car, get everything, and then you know, after that you'll be happy and life will be fine. And then I got all those things. I wasn't happy, life was miserable, and I had to go back and retrofit.

SPEAKER_00 13:31

Your your book, Octopus on a treadmill, resonates with so many people. What do you think individuals are really struggling with underneath that feeling? Because I mean, just before before you answer, I love the analogy of an octopus on a treadmill. And I have, as a parent and business owner, felt like that many times. I was like, I visualize that, I was like, oh, I that is such a perfect title. Perfect title.

SPEAKER_03 13:58

And what what people are struggling with, what is underneath all of that is identity. Basically, that is it in one word. Who you are, right? And and people think there's something they're not. And this is where you have to be clear on your identity, and and your identity also drives your values and what you would throw your life energies at. And so now we have too many expectations on us, too many roles to fill, and we're busy doing all those things and not actually living in alignment with ourselves. So that loss of identity is what is driving all this feeling of whatever it is we're feeling. And for if you're lucky enough to go back and find yourself, whatever that is for you, and align that with what lines you up rather than somebody expecting you to be an astronaut, right? So because for my sense, yes, I did a lot of things wrong, but I did a lot of things right as well. As in one of the things I decided quite early on is that I wasn't going to impose any profession on my children. They were free to become whatever they were free to become, right? And it's whatever they were aligned with, whatever made them happy, I was going to support them, regardless of what it is. Do you know? So that's one of the things I got right, because I grew up in that era where, you know, I mean, uh in my culture, it was like it doesn't matter what you're good at, it's like what brings money home, right? If it doesn't bring money home, no point in even pursuing it. Do you know? Um, and so if you're there chasing something you're not aligned to because it brings money home and all that, you can lose yourself in that. So for me, it's that loss of identity. Coming back home to yourself, what lights you are, doing what lights you are, what is aligned to you. And then you're not busy filling in roles and expectations that are not adding anything to you that you resent, you know, at the at the best of time, and you you just you you you you wake up one day, you look at all your achievements, and you think, for what? What was all that for?

SPEAKER_00 16:12

It's so interesting because the I speak to so many financial advisors. I have a financial podcast, Growing Money with Sean Trace. And it's really interesting because whenever they talk about their their clients, when people get to the end of their life, they're not they're not upset that they didn't put an extra$10 or 10, you know, pounds into their 401k or the retirement plan. They're upset about the experiences that they missed. Like they they regret those things that they didn't, the vacation they didn't take, the language they didn't learn. You know, and so I think it's interesting because we um we have such a monetary idea or a status going back to those badges, that that those are gonna be the things that we look back at. I'm glad that I had 27 badges on my belt, you know. Well, maybe, maybe it is, but most likely it's gonna be the other things that are and maybe the badge is important to you if that's your thing. So I don't want to judge the badges. I'm just saying it's so unique and you have to figure that out. But I wanted to ask this because it's easy to talk about it in a big picture way, but like what small daily practice has made the biggest difference in your well-being?

SPEAKER_03 17:23

Yeah, yeah. And I'll answer that small daily practice. I want to go back to the badge uh because the badge is actually a symbol. The badge represents something, and we forget that and we're going after the symbol and forget why, do you know what why we're going after the badge? Because at the end of the day, everybody's looking for fulfillment and all that, and in some cases, the badge, getting the badge is giving you that fulfillment if whatever it is you have to do for the badge is aligned with who you are in terms of what you want. Do you know? Yes. And so if you're going after the wrong badge, so the badge is not a problem. And so when we talk about things it's chasing and the money, we forget the you know, we're working to make the money to allow us to live the life we want. So the money in itself is not the end product, that is to allow us to live the lives that we want. And so if you have to sacrifice that life to make the money, what's the point?

SPEAKER_02 18:30

Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_03 18:31

Do you know what is the point? Because you want that life, you want to be able to buy food for your children, right? And and so if you if in making the money to buy the food for your children, the effort it takes alienates you from your children, you you've missed the point. You've just you know you have the money, but no children to, you know, they're gone and you don't have that relationship anymore. So now coming to answer the question that you asked about um, you know, small, you know, the small things every day for me. Um when I wake up, do you know the moment you become conscious, the thoughts, the thought stream starts and normally will start with the things that threaten you the most. That's the first thing that's popping into your mind, do you know? Um, and then the other things you know come streaming in, and the good stuff kind of gets left behind because you know you don't have to pay attention to that. There's no threat to that, it's a threat that comes to the mind. And so before all those things that are threatening to your nervous system come and literally squat a front of mind and you start flailing and panicking. For me, in the morning, I have to align myself and bring myself back, check in with my identity, who I am or who I want to be. And then for me, that's meditation. You know, people have different practices. And I am not allowed to come out of my bedroom in the morning unless I've meditated, full stop. I am literally not allowed to come out of my bedroom, do you know? And my children know this, and nobody's allowed to come in there unless they're on fire. You know, it's just unless you're on fire, the house is on fire, you cannot come and disturb mommy first thing in the morning. You know, so she comes out when she's all set, and that that means I've prepared myself mentally, right? So I see to that, if you like, I see to my mindset before I let my inbox get in. Do you know? So when people start and they pick up the phone and start scrolling, nah, no, none of that. None of that. Yes. If you send me a text, whatever it is, or whatever, I'm I'm I'm just not seeing it. It's not happening. Um, obviously, important things that the the key people will be able to break through that because the phone will ring because for the key people, those key people are not that many. Mesmo time, they're in the same house with me anyway. And they know the rules, right? And so I've even got my technology protecting um that time of day. So, you know, I mean, you know, I don't have bosses anymore, but like, you know, bosses' emails and stuff, I won't see it before um I'm ready to see it. And then I can deal with the world. But before I deal with the world, I have to prepare myself, get myself into the right state, remind myself of who I am, who my values are, what I want to live in service of, and then I can allow all my threats to come at me.

SPEAKER_00 21:51

I've had to start implementing something similar. I deal with a lot of anxiety. It's just Something that's low grade, and I've gotten in pretty good control of it by understanding what it is and developing a relationship with it and talking to it. And one of the things that I find is that is so important is to set those healthy boundaries. There is a time when work turns off, and there's a time when work turns on. And outside of that off and on time, it doesn't come into my life. It is outside, there is nothing that is so important that it needs to intrude upon my peace. And that is the reality. And you know, when I grew up, my father was extremely religious, and he on his uh holy day would just shut down. Everything was off, phones were turned off, and family was most important, and people were just spending time with each other. And that was so special. And I did not realize how much of a gift it was. It felt like a burden. You mean I can't play video games today? I can't do this. No, we're gonna go for a walk in nature. And now I sit there and look at it and go, how peaceful that was, you know, because I think that we have a lot of people have ambition and drive, but it's hard sometimes to tell the difference between a healthy ambition and self-destructive drive. How do you think people can best see the difference and steer towards one and avoid the other?

SPEAKER_03 23:31

Yeah, so one feels spacious, one feels expansive, and one feels urgent and go, go, go and depleting. So, you know, you're either talking about how does it make you feel expansive or depleting. Because if if it is depleting, if you're putting in and putting in and putting in is depleting, there there is a lack of alignment there. And I'm sure you've had moments where you're working on something that you're very passionate about and you looked up and it's like two hours are gone and you didn't even know because you're that absorbed in it, and you're not even tired because you're that excited about it, do you know? And so um in terms of the destructiveness of it, it is actually relative to what you're doing. So if it's something you're not aligned to and you're having to make yourself do it, and you're pushing and it's urgent, and you're always behind the curve, and whatever it is, that's disruptive and destructive. If it's something that no matter how difficult it is, you're there and you think, this is what I was spawning this earth for. I'm gonna die in a ditch over this. I I am gonna keep going. Um, I love it, it lights me up. And you have healthy boundaries in place. Because even if something lights you up, even if you're passionate about something, you can't be working at it 24-7 all the time. You know, you know, you have to sleep sometimes. Um, but the difference between the two is um if you're not aligned, if it's disruptive, destructive, and I seem to be struggling with that word today. Um, even if you rest, whilst you're resting, you're feeling guilty. And even after rest, you still feel tired and don't want to do it, and there's inertia and you're procrastinating and all the rest of it, right? Um, but if it's something you love and it's a line to you and it's something you want to do, there's no procrastination. You're there, you're doing it, and even when you take your time off, you can't wait to get back to it. And that really is the difference. It's how you feel about it. Do you have to make yourself do you have to drag yourself there? Is it depleting or is it energizing? That is the difference.

SPEAKER_00 26:05

I love that differentiation because it's like I've been I once saw this picture of a person trying to roll a boulder up a hill. And this person was trying to push this boulder up a hill. And I found that when I am doing things that are in line with what I would say is my highest path or what I'm really supposed to be doing, it feels like the opposite that I am pushing something that's flowing downhill. And I don't know if it's simply the joy that I get from doing so of the activity, but there are many times where I feel like pushing that that boulder uphill and it just feels draining and exhausting. And I am curious in that space, if you know, it is it just a mindset or is it just about focusing on things that are effortless for you? I don't know. But I want to ask you this. Do you think that a mindset shift can be something that can help people stop feeling like they're constantly behind? Or is there something else that people need to be doing?

SPEAKER_03 27:17

Well, so mindset can only do so much, right? So if you're doing something you're not aligned to and you hate, you can mindset until the cows come home. Do you know you will always run into apathy or procrastinating or what so you can have all the tools, and and this is where mindset comes in because if you're doing what you're aligned with and something you want to do and all that, when mindset comes in, you fly, it accelerates it for you because this is something you want to do anyway, right? Uh, and if something you don't want to do, yes, you go get the right mindset and you will just about make it. There's no flying, do you know? Because you have the tools to uh just about make it. And think about it this way. So, whatever it is, will you get out of your sick bed for that? Or when you think about it, you just want to take to your sick bed. Do you know how that's the difference? So if you will uh like if I have to coach somebody, I will get out of my sig bed to coach somebody. You know, give me like a keynote, give me the topic, whatever it is. I I just get so gist up about it. In terms of the topic I'm talking about, because for me, I personally believe like when it comes to women and stuff, I will put on this earth to help them stand in their power and I will die in a ditch, right? It lights me up, it fuels me up. Um, and so the mindset stuff becomes almost like the logistical part of getting me in the right place to amplify something that's already there. But if it's not something that is already there, I mean, what don't I care about? Say, I don't know, football. You know, I don't care about football. Uh and if you ask me to go speak about football, I don't care about football. So you can mindset me all you want. You know, I will be, I'll keep ticking the can down the road and oh my god, I have to put that presentation material together. Oh god. Do you know what I mean? And and so uh I'm not saying mindset is not useful. It is, but do you know if if it's not applied to the right thing, it would just about get you over the line. If it's applied to the right thing, it's an accelerator and it will help you fly.

SPEAKER_00 29:30

I love that. Well, you know, one of the things too is like I tomorrow I will wake up early uh to do a podcast, meet with a client, and then but you know what I'm doing in the afternoon? Afternoon is nap time. I am going to take a nice long nap because for me, I live in a very warm tropical country where nap time is a thing. And in the afternoons, people will just like you know, it is too hot. You don't go anywhere between 12 and 2 p.m. in the sun in Southeast Asia. You just don't. It is people wait for the nights, the sun goes down, people come out and go and eat. So, you know, napping is important for me. But I also will make sure that once a month or twice a month, my wife and I will go to the spa together and have lovely massage. It's just something that we do to bond, and it helps me reset. But you know, how do you personally reset when life feels too full or overwhelming?

SPEAKER_03 30:27

So when life feels too full for me and overwhelming, I simplify brutally.

SPEAKER_02 30:36

Oh, I love that.

SPEAKER_03 30:37

Yes, because a lot of the times, especially for women, you know, there's so many demands. And if you're not careful and if you don't have good boundaries, you end up with too many things on your plate, and then you're going to need more than the eight arms of the octopus to do to do that. So whenever I feel overwhelmed, I'm checking my to-do list. What have I let on here that I shouldn't have? So this is where the simplification comes in. Um, what is on here that doesn't have to be on here? What can I delegate? What can I throw off the list and all that? So that is the first one. Um and saying no, right? So my cup is full, I'm not letting anything else in. So saying no without having to give it a next talk about why I'm saying the no, right? I'm just saying no. I can't do that now. My cup is full. Um, I'm not doing that. So that protects what is already on my piece. So it's like um I feel overwhelmed, take stuff out that I don't need, and I don't let any more in, right? Get sharper with my boundaries and stuff. And then to try and, if you like, replenish myself. Like I said, meditation is very important uh for me. And I love, love, love nature, right? So it's out there um walking in nature. I mean, I live in the woods. I chose to live in the woods because I love being surrounded by trees and just go out there, walk in nature, all the animals, the streams. I love all that. So I can head out with my dog and I can do 10k without batting an eyelid, just wandering around and then come back, do you know? Um and I love baking, I love cooking, trying strange, weird recipes and ingredients I've never tried before, and putting swapping out stuff and putting healthy substitutes in there. So my kids really have got a bit trust issues with whatever I big is they're like, Mom, what did you swap out of? It might look like what they normally put, it's got completely different things in there, do you know? Um, I and like when people hear that I I put yogurt in my scrambled eggs, they're like, Whoa, whoa! I'm like, you haven't tasted it yet. But anyway, but those are the things I'll be there experimenting with ingredients and that creativity, do you know, I find that um it replenishes me and and and just making stuff. I love making so the creativity comes out in the kitchen in the baking and different stuff and all that. And that's how I replenish myself, do you know? Just go for walks, take things off my plate, they shouldn't be off my on my plate, cook, bake, all those things that fill me up.

SPEAKER_00 33:20

I love that. You know, when you can figure out what those things are, the things that fill you up are so important. I uh I love movies. I love watching movies. I love going to movies, I have a uh widescreen TV, like monitor, and just I have a lot of monitors, but it's not huge. But I'll pull the couch up close, and then my nephews and my daughter and I will sit here and watch movies. Last weekend we watched the Minecraft movie. Before that, we watched Ready Player One, and my nephews like he came up to me last night. He's like, Hey, hey, what movie are we watching this weekend? I love that. I work hard so that I can have moments like that and that we can have fun things. And we we all go to Muay Thai together. I pay for my nephews to go study with my daughter because I think that it's good for them to all be in something together and learn to defend themselves and push themselves. But I know that that's what's important to me. And you know, I I think that you have to identify that because you can get all the advice in the world, you can try all these things in the world, but if you haven't figured out your why, it's gonna be a it's gonna be a tough going. Well, I want to ask you this. What what advice would you give to someone who feels successful on paper, but like exhausted inside?

SPEAKER_03 34:37

If you're exhausted, let's talk about success. What is success? Because if you're feeling successful in the right way, right? And I think when people talk about success, they mean somebody's got money, uh, you know, is had a business that's doing very well and all the rest of it. That's only one aspect of success, right? Um, and so if you're truly successful, it's more about balance. So you have the money, you have the family, you have the close friends and relationships, you have your, you know your why. And uh for me, measure of success is when you are um 85, should you live that long and you're in a nursing home or wherever it is you are, and people are beating a path to your door to still visit you, that is success. Because when you're there, the titles don't count. The fact that you're a CEO of fortune, whatever number, doesn't matter. When you're sat there dribbling and you know, in a wheelchair and probably, you know, not remembering who you are. If nobody is beating a past to your door at that time, where's all that success? So it's how are you going to live your life now so that when you're 85, you're still relevant and people still want to come and see you, still want to come and talk to you, right? To me, that is success. So now that we've been clear on success, because you know, you can be what people call successful and be devastatingly lonely. Do you know? Um, and so um if you are successful and you're exhausted, right, it means that you are living an unbalanced life and you need to bring the balance back into your life, right? You've gone hard on one aspect of success and you've forgotten about the other side. So what happens is some things um you have your drainers and you have the elevators type thing, and some things will bring you up and replenish, replenish you and all that, and some things will drain you, and you always need to make sure that there's that balance, you know, um, to make you feel taken care of and replenished. So if you are successful, and I put that in quote as it right, as it were, and you are exhausted, uh, for me, that is an oxymoron, because that is not success, right? If you're truly successful, you should not be exhausted. Um, you should have built enough of those replenishments into your life, the stuff that makes you feel fulfilled, all that balance. And so I would go back to if you think you're successful and exhausted, is like, what am I missing? What am I doing? A, am I what I'm doing? Am I aligned to it? Do you know? Is it fulfilling me? Is it filling my car? And have I got other activities? So let's say somebody has to do a job they hate because that's the only job they can do now, and they have to pay the bills. I get that, right? And so whilst you have to do that, what else are you doing for your soul? Do you know what yes? What else are you doing whilst for now you're having to do something you hate, you know, just to pay the bills for now? And it should be just for now because it should be a short-term thing just to pay the bills and something you navigate out of as soon as things get better. But in the meantime, whilst your soul is dying, uh you're doing something you hate, what are you doing for your soul? And most people, I will say, probably 90% of the population, do they don't love their jobs, they do because they've got huge mortgages and stuff they have to pay. I get it, right? I'm pragmatic like that. Uh, but don't forget you have to do something for your soul as well. And so it's what that is, and building that into your life. Because if you do that, then you will not be exhausted.

SPEAKER_00 38:55

I love that. Yeah. The if you're feeling exhausted, there's probably something going wrong. And you know, it's like I was um, I I was I had I used to do yoga every day, and I would do yoga five well at least five days a week for about 45 minutes. And then suddenly, I don't know when or where, but I stopped. And I have just been feeling achy. Like even sitting right now, I don't know if you notice, I'm moving around. My hip is so sore right now, my back is sore. I started back into yoga and it was just so painful. But I was like, afterwards, though, I feel good and like things are starting to move again. And I was like, the fact that I'm experiencing pain and achy and sore means that I probably have some stagnation that I need to take care of. And there's probably a good reason for me to do yoga above and beyond anything else, is that you know, if we get that thing going on, figure out how to make a change. It's like the wellness is not there right now. So how can we find that? And I think the same thing too. If you're not feeling it, if you're not vibing with where you're at in life, you probably need to make some changes, you know?

SPEAKER_03 40:07

Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. And and people that stuck there because they think, oh, I'm successful, and other people looking at them uh they're this successful, but they're using their own measure of success, success.

SPEAKER_00 40:19

Right. If you could go back and give some advice to your younger self, what advice would you give yourself?

SPEAKER_03 40:27

Find what is important to you because society will tell you what is important to them. So you need to define what is important for you, what makes you tick, what lights you up, and craft your life around that.

SPEAKER_00 40:50

I love that. Where can people find out more about your work and what you do?

SPEAKER_03 40:55

Uh, my website is giftyhandwright.com. Uh, and I've got all my other social handles there. Um, in terms of social media, I'm most active on LinkedIn. Like the other places you can't really, I'm there, but not doing a lot there. But LinkedIn is where I'm more accessible.