Lied into greatness | Holland Romero | The Sean Trace Show

In this episode, I sat down with Holland Romero, a 24-year Navy SEAL veteran and founder of Legacy Forged Mindset, who coaches executives, founders, and elite athletes to lead with purpose and unlock peak performance. His origin story alone is worth the listen - at 19, with zero military background and zero physical training, he heard three sentences from a stranger at a Christmas party and signed a SEAL contract the very next day. Everyone told him he'd fail. He went anyway. The stranger, it turned out, had actually quit SEAL training himself. One lie changed everything.

Beyond the origin story, Holland breaks down what elite performance really looks like, why your "why" matters more than your physical ability, how he built unstoppable team cohesion leading 60 to 70 person cross-functional units in combat, and how great leaders protect their team's energy just as fiercely as their own. We also get into failure, ownership, and why the scariest thing isn't falling short - it's looking back and wondering if you could have done it. 

What's the one thing you've been overthinking or waiting to feel ready for, and what's one step you could take on it today?

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Military wasn't on my radar uh in in Los Angeles. It just wasn't really talked about that much. But anyway, up at 19 years old, I ended up going to a party that I was working at Chili's the restaurant, and our bartender would throw parties, everyone's well house parties, and so we'd go down there. Everybody, and it's usually just a very fun, you know, kind of uh electric atmosphere, but this one was just very strange. It was very, it was like 10 days before Christmas. I remember it was Christmas was really close, but everyone was just super quiet and whispering, and I was like, what's going on here? Like everyone's wrong, there's a guy over there who's Navy SEAL. And I've never never heard of SEAL teams at all. Never heard of a Navy SEAL at 19 years old. But military was more for back then were people that needed to uh need that discipline and drive. There was no real big wars going on at the time. So it just wasn't like I said, it wasn't on my makeup. So I asked like, oh, what is this SEAL thing? Like, I don't know, go ask. So I did. I walked up to this guy um at this party, and he was sitting with a girl and I was like, Hey, I heard your Navy SEAL. And he's like, Yep. I said, uh, so so what do you do? I'll never forget. He said three things. He said, we jump out of planes, we dive, and we kill people. And at 19 years old, I'm like, you get paid to do that. And he's like, yeah. So I said, how do I get that job? He said, go see your Navy recruiter. Very next day, go to the Navy recruiter, like, hey, what's this Navy SEAL thing? He put puts in the video, four guys fast drove out of a helicopter on top of about a seven-story building. As they're going down each store story, they're like, shoot terrorists. And when they run out the bottom, they hit this clacker, the whole building blows up. And I was like, Yep, I'm in. Like, let's let's do this.

SPEAKER_00 1:32

Welcome everybody back to the Sean Trace Show. I am your host, Sean Trace, and I'm super excited to have an awesome guest with me today. Would you like to tell people who you are and a little bit about what you do?

SPEAKER_01 1:42

My name is Holland Romero. Um, I have a 24-year career as a Navy SEAL, and now I am a mindset and leadership mentor. Um, I started a company called Legacy Forge Mindset, uh, where I help trimmed professionals unlock potential, become exceptional leaders that inspire peak performance, and build elite teams that execute with purpose. So that's the whole goal behind what I do, working with those um high-level executives, founders, CEOs, and also elite athletes. Um, I do have a background in that. I started doing it in 2017. Um, did it with a company that a friend of mine started called uh the Trading Approach. So I do have a background, worked with uh pretty distinguished executives from uh Google, uh Home Depot, Mince Levin Law Firm, uh Autumn Epicet. So a pretty distinguished background, but now I started doing it on my own this year and uh really enjoying it. Just love being able to provide that evidence and inspiration or those driven individuals to reach that next rung on the ladder and do it successfully.

SPEAKER_00 2:40

It's awesome, man. We when you start working, I mean, first of all, how did you get going down this path? What was it that that that called you to be a a Navy SEAL first and foremost? You know, what where did you start?

SPEAKER_01 2:54

Yeah, so that's a great story. So uh growing up, I grew up in Los Angeles, a pretty lower socioeconomic uh uh area, and um wasn't really sure what I wanted to do. To tell you the truth, uh I just very naive. Um I did pretty good in school and I was a good athlete, but I wasn't sure what my options were just because of where I grew up. Um and military wasn't on my radar uh in in Los Angeles, it just wasn't really talked about that much. But anyway, up at 19 years old, I ended up going to a party that I was working at Chili's the restaurant, and our bartender would throw parties, everyone's well house parties, and so we'd go down there, everybody, and it's usually just a very fun, you know, kind of uh electric atmosphere, but this one was just very strange. It was very, it was like 10 days before Christmas. I remember it was Christmas was really close, but everyone was just super quiet and whispering, and I was like, what's going on here? Like everyone's worshiping, there's a guy over there who's Navy SEAL. And I've never never heard of SEAL teams at all, never heard of a Navy SEAL at 19 years old. And again, I had really no interest in the military. To me, I thought military was more for back then were people that needed to uh need that discipline and drive. But there was no real big wars going on at the time. So it just wasn't, like I said, it wasn't on my makeup anyway. So I asked, like, oh, what is this SEAL thing? Like, I don't know, go ask. So I did. I walked up to this guy um at this party, and he was sitting with a girl and I was like, Hey, ever do a Navy SEAL? And he's like, Yep. He said, uh, so so what do you do? And I'll never forget. He said three things. He said, We jump out of planes, we dive, and we kill people. At 19 years old, I'm like, you get paid to do that. And he's like, Yeah. So I said, How do I get that job? He said, Go see your Navy recruiter. Very next day, go to the Navy recruiter, like, hey, what's this Navy SEAL thing? He put puts in the video, four guys fast drove out of a helicopter on top of about a seven-story building. As they're going down each store story, they're like, shoot terrorist, and when they run out the bottom, they hit this clacker, the whole building blows up. And I was like, Yep, I'm in. Like, let's let's do this. The recruiter's like, okay, hold on, let me ask you a couple questions. Because I and at that time I I was so naive. I didn't even know there was officer and enlisted. That's how I naive I was about military. So he's like, okay, let me ask you a few questions. It's like, have you ever uh shot a gun before? I said no. Uh have you ever dove before? I said no. Uh have you ever run more than a mile? And I said no. And so he's like, I don't think this is for you. I don't think you understand what this is. Uh and I just and he tried to talk to me in other jobs, and I told him the only interest I have is in the SEAL program. So then he's like, okay, uh let me show you the list of jobs, because now SEALs, we have our own rate, which is called special operators. So that is your your designation within the military. Back then, this isn't 95, December of 95. You had to have you had to have a rate, and then your SEAL qualification was like an extra on top of that, but you had to have a job in the Navy. I didn't know this. So when he's showing me all these jobs that one I have to pick, none of them say SEAL. So I told him, like, look, I already told you, I don't want to do any of this stuff. You know, there was stuff like gunners mate, bonuses me, uh, radar tax, you know, this hip and it's like, no, I I'm not interested. He's like, Look, you uh the only it's like I said told him the only way I'm signing this contract is if you guarantee me I go from boot camp straight to buds, which is SEAL trade. And he's like, if I let you do this, you he's there's about 200 guys that go to each class and only 10% graduate. These are guys who have been working out for years and really trending for this. And and most 90% of them won't make it. He's like, You don't have a chance. But if I let you do this, you're you're gonna go from boot camp to buds, you're not gonna make it, then you're gonna be the guy who's chipping paint on a ship for the next four years because you were not smart enough to take a job at the Navy. I told him, I don't care. That's the only way I'm signing. So I signed that contract, boot camp to buds, and then he and then he he trying to help me out, he said, here's what we're gonna do. See, it's December, late December. We're gonna put you on delayed entry till March. We're gonna give you three months. I'm gonna create a workout program for you. That way, at least you're kind of ready for this in March. And I said, Okay, that makes sense. Sign the contract, everything's good to go. I go home. My parents find out that I joined the military to be a SEAL, and they freaked out, like absolutely lost it. Uh, you know, my mom wanted me to stay in college, I was a freshman stay called, my dad wanted me to keep pursuing athletics, and and I just let them know that that wasn't happening. So they really, I mean, we're super upset. I called the recruiter back that night and I said, Hey, I can't wait till March. I need to leave like soon. It's not has I got one spot the night of Christmas if you want it. I said, Done. So I had zero prep. Um, just went in all on mindset and uh left 10 days later, went from VuCamp straight to SEAL training. And uh, I mean, there's so many crazy funny stories I could tell you, but uh that that that's the gist of it there. Um obviously physically it was in intensely, intensely tough. Um, you know, I the mindset part, I I think I had a pretty good mindset just from my background. So that part didn't bother me that much, but like just keeping up on the runs and swims and Oakhorses and all those physical things in the beginning was very hard. So they have a thing called the goon squad, and that's where after you finish the evolution, if you're in the back half, you get like an extra half hour of just getting destroyed by the instructors carrying each other up and down sand brooms and getting wet sandy just because you're in the back. Uh, I think fortunately for me, because I was so young, my body just caught up really quickly. It got strong and fast, and I was able to work my way up and do better with each phase moving forward. So um yeah, so that that's how I got in. Uh turns out the craziest part of this story. The guy at that party that night, that the the whole reason why I changed my life, the my other life was a whole different trajectory. Turns out he lied. He went to SEAL training and he quit. And uh I found that out after I got there. Um, but the whole trajectory of my life changed for one night when a guy lied to me at a party.

SPEAKER_00 8:44

That's wild. That's wild that like a lie, but it was the right lie that you needed to hear at that time, man. So it was, you know, yeah, divine intervention, right? Right. I wanted to ask you this too, because one of the things, too, like after like 24 years as a Navy SEAL, what do you think people misunderstand most about elite performance? You know, especially the difference between looking tough and actually being strong under pressure. Because, like, I mean, I would love to say I'm strong under pressure, but man, I just cracked tonight trying to get my daughter's contacts in. Like, oh my goodness, that's like absolutely insane, you know. But you you see, like we we we're all good. Like, what was it? Was that Mike Tyson? We said everyone's good till you get punched in the face, or everyone's got a plan until you get punched in the face. You know, it's like it's really hard. You know, you think you're gonna be able to handle it, but when something tough comes, a lot of people break, you know, and what is what separates those things apart, man?

SPEAKER_01 9:44

I think the biggest factor is the individual's mindset. You know, what are they driven by? What is their ultimate goal for being there? You know, for some, uh, you know, it's patriotism, for some, it's just wanting to fight those, the bad guys and and be the sheepdogs that are taking care of the sheep when the wolf cup wolves come. Uh, you know, it it really depends. Some for some, it's their faith, the you know, the belief in God and that higher purpose and knowing that they're serving at that level. So I think it really comes down to the individual. What are they driven by? How passionate are they about that? Because, like you said, when when those those things happen and things get difficult, it you really have to dig into what am I doing here? What's the reason? Why am I so driven to keep going? And that's the the drive behind that. So, and it can be a different, or it could be a combination of all those factors. It could be family, patriotism, uh, your belief in God, you know, and all those things that put together that really drive you to uh have that will to make sure that you succeed at that level. Yeah, I love that.

SPEAKER_00 10:45

Um, it's interesting too because I think that when people feel lost, sometimes they haven't figured out what that thing is for them. You know, they haven't found that that anchor point, you know, and it it's it's very much um, you know, because people will talk about finding direction, finding their path, but many still struggle with a lot of different things. You know, they'll talk about confidence, but again, they still struggle with self-doubt or or imposter syndrome or things like that. You know, in your experience, what actually builds real confidence and helps people find their path?

SPEAKER_01 11:23

The the biggest thing is you got to just jump off that ledge and build that experience. You know, the first time you do it, it's gonna be insanely tough. You know, like I, of course, I was scared when I signed that contract to go to Buds. I I threw I put my chips all in and everybody told me that I wasn't gonna make it. But the only way I in going from day one being scared out of my mind and like just trying to stay alive and be in class the next day to go and building that repetition and figuring it out and then gaining that experience. That's where that confidence comes. Because if you don't take that first step, you're never gonna get there. And then and you can't wait till you feel comfortable to do it because that's that time is never gonna come. So you have to be able to be willing to get out of your comfort zone, take that initial risk and say, okay, I'm gonna go for it. I'm gonna have that try. That's that mindset of okay, I'm dedicating myself to this a 100%. Does it always work out? No, it doesn't. But then you all you there's always an opportunity to learn. You know, failure, failure happens to everybody in life. Nobody's perfect. But it's those when you fail, do you learn from that? Do you better yourself? Do you train harder? Do you work harder to get to that next level and not give up? I think that's that's the main separator right there.

SPEAKER_00 12:32

One of the things, too, uh, that I find myself thinking about is the idea of never being ready and or waiting for the right time. I live part of the year and part of the part time in Southeast Asia, where uh my wife works and sings, and I have a I have a company here um doing media and content, and you know one of the things that's interesting is if you ever travel to Vietnam, uh crossing the street is one of the most difficult things that you can do in Southeast Asia, like because traffic is nuts, the motorbikes are nuts, it's wild. And when I will sit there and I learned early on, there's a there's a rule, you just go. Like you there's there is literally never a perfect moment. There's just not. And I see so many people coming here, so many tourists coming, and they they stand there and they judge it. They're looking at the light, they're looking at all of the factors, and I I I just pull over and I say, I'll somebody tie to help people be like, You just gotta go. And like, but they're I said, they'll get out of the way. Like, people will let you pass. You just put your hand up and go nice and slow, and you'll make it, but you gotta believe that you'll make it, and you gotta take that step because you know, it can be daunting to take a step, it can be scary to take a step, you know, and whatever that step might be for you. I remember when I first moved to a new country, it was really freaky. I didn't know a language, I didn't know anything. And the first day I learned my first word, and it was just like a whole new world, you know. And slowly you get used to it, but there's never a perfect moment in life, and I think that's one of the things I have to remind myself is to just start, you know, because you know, we all when I started my podcast, like I didn't know how to do this, but I knew how to talk to people, and I think that talking to people gave me a lot of confidence. So I just kind of ran with it. But I I want to ask you a question because you write a lot about clarity and chaos. When everything feels uncertain, what helps a leader cut through the noise and make the next right decision?

SPEAKER_01 14:59

So to me, I kind of look at it as like this huge math problem. You know, as you're solving it, you don't know exactly. You know what you the end state you want. You the you want that successful end state. Things happen. There's second and third order effects to every decision we make and to the outcome, what that affects moving forward. So you have to be able to adapt, look at the big picture, and then see where are we at now at this big picture? That's how I make my next decision. I know this is what I have in front of me. These are the factors that I need to get to the next point. Then once we get there, reassess. Okay, we're here now. What's the best decision to make? So it's really making those taking time to sit back, look at the big picture, assess, and then make a decision. Instead of never make just a decision because you want to always be making informed decisions. Take in that information, assess the situation. What are the second and third order effects of the decision I'm about to make? What makes the most sense? All right, let's let's move. And then another thing I want to touch on, Sean, that you that you said is please do you know when you first when you first take that big step, you everyone's kind of nervous about taking that first step of what people don't realize. And then when you said that, when you just talk about you saying your first word, and that opens up a whole that that aperture of that scary thing that was looked like this, now it gets a little bit light more bright and more things open up. And and that's so true. When you do decide to take that path. So, like for me, when I decided to take that path and to to sput PCL, once I made it, my life opened up to so many other things that you know that got less and less scary. And it just my my life exponentially grew in that. And then even with starting the company, you know, starting this company was a scary thing. I'd done it for other companies before, but once I did it and it was scary, and and but now my aperture is open up to all the I'm meeting so many people. Like you said, I would never have met you if I didn't start this company. I've done uh other podcasts with that. I never would have met those people without doing it. And it's so it's rewarding. So what I want people to understand is yes, it's scary, but know that once you do it, you're gonna get through it and you're at that that life aperture is gonna open up and it's just gonna make things brighter and open you up to so many more opportunities. And and it's an opportunity for growth, really. That's the main thing, is that life is all about growing and getting better. You know, it's not about perfection because none of us are ever going to get it, but it's it's about really being able to grow and and hopefully maybe provide some evidence and inspiration for others to take that path. I think is really what I was trying to hit on.

SPEAKER_00 17:21

I love that because at this at the end of the day, it is about growth and it's about inspiring the people around you to grow as well. Because I I think one of the things that I see going on that happens a lot is that um we deal with inertia. I think inertia is one of the most dangerous things in a person's life that um that stuckness, you know, and for me, I I love the atomic habits and I find it for myself, you know, like when I got something challenging, I I don't know if you can see it here. I got uh some some stitches here. I had a little skin color change, and I went and it was like, well, what should I do? Do I need to, you know, and then I just kept thinking about it and thinking about it and thinking about it. And then finally I was like, you know what? I'm just gonna look online for one place that I can get a help check. And I found three. And then I was like, all right, I'm gonna go drive with my daughter to her school. And I know that skin hospital is right at the street. Let's just drive there. Just drive there. I didn't know what I was gonna do. Let's just drive there. I got there, I looked around, I was like, okay, this doesn't seem too intimidating. What's the next thing I can do? Let's park my bike. Park my bike. I said, let's walk up and ask if they have anyone who speaks English. Walked up. Do you guys have anyone who speaks English? Yes, we do. All right, where can I book an appointment? I go up there. I just kept going to the next step, the next step, the next step. And then finally, you know, five hours later, I had a biopsy done. I was sent home and I'm recovering. And like, you know, it's scary. It's scary to do new things. It's scary to lean in on things, it's scary to ask questions. But you know, the reality is it's a lot more scary sitting around not knowing. You know, it's a lot more scary to sit there stuck at a job that you hate, a lot more scary to sit there stuck in a bad financial situation. If you can just say, hey, let's let's see what the next step is. You know, it's scary to go to the gym. Well, you know what's a lot more scary than that? Heart disease at 55. You know, that's really freaking scary. You know, so maybe going to the gym for that first time is a scary thing that you can work your way through. And I promise you, if you go there and you talk to the people around you and you find the right gym. I think that's really important too. We got to find the right circles that we're surrounding ourselves with. You know, you go to the right gym, you'll find the people, and they'll be like, I go to my gym now, and I don't know this one guy's name, but every day we go together and he's like, hey, and I'm like, hey, and it's like, you know, we got that community here, you know? And and so I think that you know, if you can start showing up, it makes a huge difference, but you gotta take that chance, you know. For what one of the things last year is I was always the no guy, like, you know, I'd always find a reason to say no, you know, play it safe, play this and that. But last year I was watching the movie Yes Man with my daughter, uh Jim Carrey movie, you know, and I was like, dude, I'm gonna try being the yes man, and so I started doing that, and it was life-changing, it was absolutely life-changing for me because it was this new way of looking at things. I said yes, and then I was like, but I don't even know what to do. So I would like break it down into steps, and it it was huge, but like I had to trust, I had to trust that I was able to do it. I had to trust that I could find out the answers, I had to trust the people around me. And this is one of the things I wanted to ask you because I was reading a lot of what you put out there trust is a big theme in your work. What are the fastest ways leaders lose trust? And what are the real habits that build it over time?

SPEAKER_01 21:11

I would say the the biggest way to lose trust is when you're not fully invested. When you when you take leadership as a managerial uh experience rather than mentorship, uh a leader, to me, you as a leader, I'm the first to lift and the last to sit down. You know, I'm I don't ask anything of my team that I'm not willing to do, and I'm always the first to do it. And I'm the last, you know, I'm making sure that they're taken care of. So I think leading by example and providing a culture of inspiration. So really, you know, I want any team that I lead to have a really unique culture that's customed to that individual team. But that creates that buy-in, you know, where everyone, it becomes more like a family than a work position, to where we're taking care of each other, to where if I'm if I'm running multiple pillars, if I have a team that's made up of six, seven pillars, once one pillar's done, they don't just leave, they're coming to the team, like, Hey guys, we're we're done with that. Where can we help? Building that type of culture is really what I think takes leadership to the next level. And me and me as a leader working in the SEAL teams, I've I've also read cross-functional teams where it was made up of 60 to 70 uh team members, both men and women, uh, and just a small group of us were SEALs, up for five to six of us. But we needed all these other different pillars to be successful. And what I really did is create that by to me, I made sure that, hey, there's no us and them to the SEALs. I said that there's no us and them. And to to all the enablers, I said there's no us and you, but we are one cohesive team. I told them when I first took over the team, I said it kind of brought everyone together. And I said, there's two things that I could promise you as a leader. Number one, that I'm gonna do everything I can to be perfect and and serving you guys and doing the best for you. But the second thing is I can promise you I'm gonna fail at that miserably, and I'm gonna need each and every one of you to help me for us to be successful. And we just started off the team and had just such an amazing cohesion that it was it really was like a family, and there was no seals and and you know, techs. It was it was just all of us one, and we ended up having an incredible deployment and in a workup where we just really excelled past the other uh cross-functional teams just because of the cohesion we had. Well, it wasn't necessarily that we were better than anybody else, but we just had such a cohesion to where we took care of each other and and every single pillar looked out for the other pillar, and and everything was all about the full mission. So that that was the the game changer right there. And I forgot the second F. I forgot what the second part of the question is. Sorry, I went kind of long-winded on that one. But that's awesome. That that really inspires me, like taking that type of leadership role and leading teams in that way.

SPEAKER_00 23:49

Well, the it leads to another question too, because like one of the things as a leader, and I I I love uh the book Extreme Ownership, one of my favorites, and like sometimes things I we had a problem with my team the other week, and we dropped some ball was dropped, and one of my workers was like, I'm so sorry. I was like, I was like, no, at the end of the day, this is my team. And if we make a mistake, it's on me, man. Like, you know, and like at the end of the day, I I think they have to look at how can you can break it down, how you can see how to make things happen. You know what I mean? But one of the things too is like you talk about ownership, extreme ownership, and how do you help people take responsibility without slipping into shame or burnout or beating themselves up?

SPEAKER_01 24:43

About empowering that, you know, recognizing who are your leaders and and allowing them to have that responsibility, take on that uh responsibility, own it, and let them set, but it has to be done clearly, right? It's just not thrown out there. So it has to be clear expectations, let them know that you're there to support them. But the other big part of that, what I've really uh seen kind of help those others open up to their next leadership role and me mentoring them is when there is some type of accolades, when we've been successful, really making sure that you disseminate those accolades to the team and do it publicly. So, like again, when I was running cross-functional teams, we would do something extremely well because I was the leader. They would, you know, Holland did an amazing job. And then in front of, like, I would make sure that I would recognize those dip those team members that did exceptional jobs. So not only did the team, the whole team, understand that these are my top performers, but now their leadership within their specific pillars are know that there's the these individuals should be recognized for superior performance, for outstanding leadership, for uh, you know, really taking the ball and running, take it to the next level and let them know that we can't be successful without them. And and I think that's huge. And disseminating those type of accolades and and really recognizing leaders and helping them that really creates that buy-in and that inspiration that helps them understand that they're part of something special.

SPEAKER_00 26:03

Yeah, I love that, man. And you know, one of the things too is like you have a diverse group of people that you're sitting in front of, you know, and everyone has different styles of communication, and everyone on your team is gonna have a different way of being engaged with optimally, you know? But one of the things that I I was reading that you had said, and this sound is it resonates with me, is like you've said that energy is the elite leader's edge, you know. And how should driven professionals think about managing energy, not just time, especially when they're carrying a lot, you know, and and as a leader, how do you find a way to connect to these different types of people using that energy without losing it all, you know?

SPEAKER_01 26:51

And that takes a lot of that's not something that happens on day one. You know, you really have to understand each individual and their team in your team uh and understand where their energies levels are because you don't want to burn them out either. You know, as a leader, you you're you're leading by example. And again, you know, I I'm intimately involved in everything, but I'm definitely not micromanaging. You know, I'm allowing them to come to me and but it's setting clear standards of here's the expectation, and then rewarding them as they meet those expectations and letting them know, hey, you're doing an amazing job. But it's it's the energy, you also have to know when to take that break, right? You can't just keep going at full speed because it's even if you don't burn out, you're not gonna make optimum decisions when you're tired. So it's recognizing, okay, it's time to take that inner break, that mental break or that physical break. Let's kind of let step back, reset, and then go back into it. And then it always helps to look at at a fresh pair of eyes. But you also have to be able to do that for the team because sometimes the team, that that specific pillar, might be working really hard because they want to, you know, press the leader. And as a leader, sometimes it's say, hey guys, you guys are doing great. Let's take a break, you know, recognize that because I don't want to burn them out either, and I don't want to have them think that there's an over-expectation. Like, oh, I want success, but I don't want it at the expense of of my team. You know, I want them to feel good about it. So it's really, again, taking the taking a step back, looking at the big picture. Where are my teams at as far as energy levels? Where are their motivations? What are they accomplishing? What's if anything is is slipping through the cracks, let's identify those in a positive way, recognizing everything that's going well, and then restating clarity of okay, here's where we need to be. Everyone understood, check, let's move forward.

SPEAKER_00 28:29

I get hung up in one spot. As I try to go, I make plans, I evaluate. Like one of the things that I have a really hard time with, and I don't know if you've seen other people end up a hard time with this as well. I start beating myself up. I get into this mental space where I'm like, all right, I'm doing well, I've got something going on. But then when I make a mistake, it's really hard not to like to anchor in on that. And you know, it can kind of pull me off, and I can get really out of my flow state, out of my zone. But like, I want to ask you because um, you know, what did failure teach you in the SEAL teams that still shapes how you coach leaders and founders and athletes today? And how do you help people deal with their own failure and overcome it? You know?

SPEAKER_01 29:14

Yeah, so like like we both recognize you, failure, failure is an opportunity, you know, really is an opportunity to overcome adversity. That's the way I look at it. Because whatever you felt at obviously wasn't easy. Uh it's something that you strive for and maybe fell a little bit short. But again, it's that opportunity to address that adversity and say, hey, what what did what came of this? What how why did I fall short? Let's make some adjustments and move forward. So use that as inspiration. And really that's the biggest thing, I think, is having that inspiration to not give up. Uh, because like you said, it it's easy sometimes to get down there or something. It happens to everybody. You know, I've been down on myself and have to like, okay, refocus. What's the big picture? Can I get there? Of course I can. But I gotta get back up. I gotta pull my boots up and get back in the game because if I see keep sitting here feeling sorry for myself, I'm not getting there. So and then again, why am I doing this? It's not just for me, it's it's for a bigger picture. I don't want to let these other people down, you know, and then really start dialing that back up. What were those lessons learned? What were the second and third order effects of that failure? How do I get what are my next intentions moving forward? What are the second third order effects of those decisions? Okay, now I can make an informed decision. This is the best path forward. This is how I'm gonna get there and and learn something from that. And and really that's what I would try to hope to uh teach the teams that I lead, the individuals that I lead, it's just showing them, you know, use it as an opportunity to address that adversity, to grow and and reach for that next strong on the ladder, but do it smartly, not just say I got knocked down, I'm gonna jump back up, get this. That like that doesn't help anybody. Make informed decisions, you know, know that you're going in the right direction, take that step back, assess, and then move forward smartly.

SPEAKER_00 30:55

Yeah. One of the things too that I I I I kind of lean in on is the idea of iterating. Like I might not be there yet, but you know, if I can level up one step at a time, like the idea of uh, you know, you can't do a pull-up today. That's not fun. Kind of sucks. Well, you know, if you start working at it, and then maybe you're able to pull off one, and then the next time you do two, and then the next time you get two and a half, next time you get three. If you can just start keep leveling up step by step, you'd be amazed at the progress that you can accomplish just by staying consistent. And I want to ask this as well, because this question comes up a lot, and I and I want to like the inertia going back to the inertia, like for someone listening right now who feels stuck or hesitant or a little too comfortable. What is one hard truth they need to hear or one step they can take today to start becoming more elite in how they lead their life?

SPEAKER_01 31:54

Again, to me, it's the big picture. What is that ultimate goal? And knowing that you're making those incremental steps, and then also knowing that, you know, they ever ever how fast does time fly by? You know, it's incredible that how fast time flies. Because you think of, okay, it's gonna take me a year to do 20 pull-ups, you know, and you're you haven't done your first one, but you start that what? You know, that year seems like a long time in the beginning, but next thing you know, you know, we're in April, and now you're doing four pull-ups, you know, and it just goes by so fast. But knowing to savor those victories, don't look at it as like, hey, I gotta get to 20. Say I gotta get to one. Then once you get to one, you've accomplished that. That's a little bit of motivation. Okay, what's my next target? Two. All right, maybe you get to two a little bit faster than you got to one because you're starting to build that. And then, like I said, next thing you know, that year has gone by so fast. Maybe you're doing 24 pull-ups because you stay dedicated. You celebrate each of those and acknowledge each one of those victories as hey, you know, I just took down another wall that's it and built some more inspiration. And you know, next thing you know, instead of hitting 20, you're at 24, and now you feel great. Where you were the year ago, you were like really down in the dumps. Now you're super motivated because you didn't give up and and you saw that big picture and realize that time flies. Time before you know it, you it's really taken advantage of opportunity. Time is an opportunity to take advantage of it.

SPEAKER_00 33:14

Yeah, time is an opportunity, and you have to take advantage of it because it's one of the greatest things we have is the ability to kind of lean in and hammer away on something. But you know, if you're not willing to work at it, if you're not certain about what you can accomplish, um, and that certainty might not be when I I love thinking back to the sailors of old. Like, you know, think about the the mariners that would set out across oceans that they had no idea what was on the other side. They just were like, whether to be the the the ancient Vikings, dude, Vikings that were in a rowboat, a giant rowboat crossing the North Atlantic, you know, like dude, and we know that they reached North America. That's insane to think about that. But they they weren't like, yeah, we're gonna grow across the ocean. They're like, let's see where we can get to. They had provisions, they had like things with them, they had things to help them navigate, and then they struck out, and their ability to navigate was second to none. And they just used those tools and they used the idea of let's start out on this journey, and then you end up maybe in a different place than you anticipated. But if you can be going on that direction and you have that, you have that north star, and whatever that north star is for you, I'll tell you what it is for me. My north star, hands down, is my daughter. And the belief that I can make this world a little bit of a better place, um is something that motivates me and it it drives me forward. You know, I had a really long day yesterday and I dove into stuff today. And someone was asking me, Hey Sean, how do you keep going? And I was like, Because I have to, because I believe uh that I have the ability to help make a change. And that to me is second to none. So, you know, I I think that whatever it is that's your North Star, you gotta lean in on that. First of all, you got to figure out what that that is, you know?

SPEAKER_01 35:24

100%, you know, and you got to be willing to be a game changer, you know. It everyone can just go along and do the regular things in life and just be another cog in the wheel. But when you step out and and once you have that desire to be a game changer, you you face that that fear of getting out there and just going for it. And like you said, it might not be an easy journey, but you're always gonna be happy at the end of it, you know, just knowing that uh to me, one of the biggest fears is what if I was 51 like I am now and look back like I wonder what would happen if I would have tried. You know, if I never did, if I was scared, I look back like I wonder if I could have done it. That would be the scariest thing for me. So I would rather to go and give everything fail than to wonder, could I have done it? You know, like but making it like again, just opening up to an incredible journey that I couldn't expect it otherwise. I'll it operated in over 36 countries, four different continents, all over the world. It has made an amazing experience, amazing deployments, made a huge difference in the world that we live in today. And you know, I'm just so grateful. So grateful that I that I was able the opportunity to to take that chance and to make the most of it. You know, just very, very blessed for sure. That's awesome. Where can people find out more about you and what you do? So, two ways, really. Um look my LinkedIn profile uh shares quite a bit about what I do and and uh my past, and uh it goes, I mean my history goes back to my military uh service and deployments, and so you get a little bit uh background information there. And then also my website uh is Legacy Forge Mindset, and the actual website is lfmindset.com. Uh and then you'll learn a bit about me there and a little bit about my background, what I do, what my goals are, intentions are for helping leaders.