Five Ways To Be More Resilient - The Sean Trace Show

Life can hit hard sometimes.

Stress, setbacks, rejection, failure, overwhelm, all of it can make you feel like you’re falling behind or getting crushed by the pressure.

In this episode of The Sean Trace Show, I break down 5 science-backed ways to become more resilient, mentally, emotionally, and physically.

We talk about:
• Why stress might actually be helping you grow
• The mindset shift that changes pressure into power
• Why relationships are critical for resilience
• How small actions create momentum
• The Stoic idea of controlling what you can control
• Why purpose gives suffering meaning

I also share personal stories about:
• Working on a Ron Howard movie after almost saying no
• Fighting through serious illness and recovery
• Failing multiple times before making sports teams
• Building resilience through family, business, fitness, and purpose

If you’ve been struggling lately, feeling overwhelmed, burned out, or uncertain about the future, I hope this conversation reminds you of one thing:

You’re still here.

And sometimes that’s where resilience begins.

If this video helped you, subscribe, share it with someone who needs it, and let me know in the comments:
What helps YOU stay resilient when life gets difficult?

#Resilience #MentalStrength #Motivation #SelfImprovement #Mindset #SeanTraceShow

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome everybody back to the Sean Trey Show. And it's nice to meet you. Well, first of all, I want to say thank you for showing up today. And if you clicked on this video, it means that you want to be more resilient. And I know a lot of people like, be more resilient, it's going to help you succeed. I want to be more resilient so I don't get messed up by life because let's be real, life can be tough sometimes. And I want to talk to you about five ways that you can become more resilient. And these are going to be backed by science. And I hope that this video will help you figure out ways to make your life better, to make life a little bit more manageable, and to help you get ahead. And whatever it is that you want to do, maybe you want to play better basketball, maybe you want to go running in the park. That's what I did this morning. It was fun. Or maybe you want to be successful with your business, something that I'm trying to work on. Now, there are some ways to do it, but here are how I approach them and some that I did some research that I think are really good, and I hope you do too. Now, number one way that you can be more resilient, and this is something that's really good, and it's backed by science. Now, this is actually backed by the American Psychological Association shows that people who view stress as helpful perform better under pressure. Now, that stress, that crap that you really don't like, the thing that weighs on you, well, you know what? It's actually helping you. It is not the enemy. What's the problem is your interpretation of that stress. You can see that stress as something that's weighing on you and going to destroy you. Or you can see that stress as a challenge that's helping you level up. I love Jonko Willink and he's got this: you got a problem? Good. You you your car broke down? Good. You got a problem at work? Good. And he says it's good because it teaches you that you need to make change. Now, one of the things that I think is really interesting with this is that the stress is telling you that your body, it's your body preparing you, not breaking you. Now, you go to the gym, and this is one of the best examples of stress actually strengthening you with it. Because when you work out and you're working out with that weight, it is actually tearing like a little bit the muscle fibers. It's causing some damage, it's causing there to be some trauma there. Not too much, but enough that that's why you're sore the next day, and also the lactic acid build up. But you know, you're going doing those exercises afterwards, you're like, man, that took a lot out of me. That was really intense. Well, it was intense because there was damage there. But that stress is allowing your body to grow. It's telling your body you need to be stronger and you need to level up, which is awesome. You know, and so you have to make a shift. And the shift is from I'm stressed to I'm ready. That's a big deal. Because a lot of times we don't necessarily feel ready. I remember the time that I got to go on to a big movie. It was really stressful, actually. I was working at a job in Los Angeles and uh I got a call. Hey, Sean, do you want to work on this movie? It's got it's a big Ron Howard movie. You can work on it for four days. And I was like, you know, four days. I don't know if I can take that time off from work. I was stretched then, and it it seemed like it was gonna be a bit much. And I said, you know what, guys, I don't think that that's a doable thing for me. Sorry. All right. The next day they called me back. Hey, Sean, you look perfect. You got the vibe. We really need you. We need people like you. It was a background actor, but still, it was pretty cool. And we need you for 15 days. I was like, 15 days, I'm for sure losing my job. There's no way I'm gonna be able to keep my job after that. And that was pretty terrifying because I didn't know what I was gonna do after those 15 days. Now, what ended up happening though is that I went there, I was doing all this work, I got really stressed out. But what happened on the other side? I got to work on the production for four months. They kept me for four months. Now, that stress in the beginning, the thing that made me feel uncomfortable, that made me feel like I'm gonna lose my job, was actually a doorway to something bigger. And this is really important because if you can embrace that stress and look at ways that it can help you grow, it's really important and it's gonna help you kind of level up because you know, resilience is about getting knocked down, but getting back up again and not just getting back up to the same place, but getting back up and trying to move forward. Now, another thing that's really important about resilience and a way to be resilient is to build strong relationships. And people don't think about this. There was a Harvard study of adult development that found relationships are the number one predictor of resilience and long-term well-being. And this isn't powerful because it's telling us you're not meant to handle everything all alone. You really aren't. We humans are a social species. We are here to work through things together. Now, one solid person can change everything for you. Who are the people in your life that are like that for you? First of all, for me, I've got my wife. My daughter actually helps me out, um, my mom, my brother, my father. These are people that I know will always be there for me. And one of the people who helps me the most is my sister-in-law. She's my ride or die person. Like we have been through so much together. And she is like literally my best friend. Uh, and you know what? I know that if my wife and I have a problem, we can always, like, always rely on her. And she can rely on us too. And that's the beauty of resilience is that whatever she's going through, she knows she's got us. Whether whatever we're going through, we know that we've got her. And that's a powerful thing. Now, support equals strength and not weakness. And people sometimes feel like, you know, if I tell someone my problems, it's gonna make them resent me or give me a bigger problem or make the thing negative. No, we survive and we can pool our knowledge to overcome setbacks together. Tonight, I talked to my sister-in-law about a problem I was dealing with at work, and she gave me advice that actually really helped. And same thing for her. She was dealing with some problems with her puppy. And when she told me that, I was like, you know, here are some possible solutions to help train your pup because it's a little bit wild and out of control, dog. Super sweet, but a little bit crazy. And we have to work up figuring out solutions for that. And when we do that, together, we can accomplish anything. Now, there was a moment where I was having a setback once that when I was younger, and you know, I got really sick. I had a viral heart infection that laid me down really bad. I was in the hospital, in and out of the hospital, and they couldn't figure out what was wrong for a while. And then finally, I started, you know, slowly making improvements with some of the treatments they were giving me. And I mean, talking about tough, I couldn't walk up the street. Walking out to my post, like to my mailbox, was one of the hardest things I could do. But I relied on the people around me. I relied on this guy named Tom. Uh, Tom helped keep my dog in that time when I was having a hard time. I relied on my school, the community I was at at my acupuncture school at the time. I don't know if you guys know this, but I'm like almost done with my doctorate in Chinese medicine. I just have to go finish my clinic shifts. That's something I have to work out. But uh things I'm working on. And as I was working all that, the community helped me get through these things. Your community can help you be resilient. Another great point for helping you be more resilient is this taking small action. You do not, I will repeat, you do not need to do everything all at once. I've got a checklist that's like this long. To get through all the stuff I got to get through in my day, it's like this much stuff. But I do them, I do that list, I do all the things I got to do one thing at a time. Now, the APA or American Psychological Association shows small actions reduce feelings of helplessness. This is a big deal because if you're trying to do everything all at once, it's really hard. And we all get like this overwhelm. And sometimes the inertia of getting started on a big thing is also a big challenge. But if you're like, I'm gonna clean my room and I don't know how to do it because it's a big mess, and you look around, you're like, oh, I see this one thing, I'm gonna pick that one thing up and move it over here. Now that action creates momentum, and those small moves beat no moves. And that's a really important thing because so many of us get stuck. We we have a hard time moving forward and we just continue to hit this wall. And that wall, it's up here. Now, another big challenge, and I see this all the time here in Vietnam, is one of the biggest things that people have a hard time with is crossing the street. You have no idea how hard crossing the street is in Vietnam unless you've been here. It is ridiculously challenging. The biggest mistake that people make is waiting for the best opportune moment. It's for waiting to feel ready. And that waiting to feel ready keeps you stuck. So, what do you do? You take one step. Now, this is the thing. You don't run, you don't go fast, you don't charge ahead because you're gonna get in trouble. What you do is you take one step at a time. You make sure that people see you from this side, then you make sure that people see you from this side, and you slowly move all the way across the street. You'll get there if you continue to take these little steps. And that comes to my next point. You can't control the cars. Those people are gonna drive the way they're gonna drive, but you can control yourself. And this is a really big point. The Mayo Clinic links acceptance of uncontrollable situations to lower stress and better coping. Now, what does that mean? It goes back to the stoic idea of dichotomy of control. You gotta control what you can and let go of the rest. I love this because you know what? I can't control whether I'm gonna get new clients. I would like to get a lot more. I can't control whether I have 25, 50 new videos in my inbox tomorrow that we need to edit. But I can go out and work on the ability to acquire new clients. I can make videos like this and kind of put myself out there. That's something I can do. You know, and that gives me a peace of mind of, you know what, I've done what I can today, like for my work today. I did what I can. I put it all out there. And at the end of the day, I know I can sleep, I know I can rest, and I know that I can let go because I can focus on the effort, my effort, I can focus on my attitude, and I can focus on my response. And then at that point in time, I have to let go of the outcomes. And tomorrow, I'm gonna focus on my effort, my attitude, and my response again. I'm gonna focus on my habits. I'm gonna focus on the things I can do. Now, because if you can do that, you can achieve great things. I got to do a couple cool things as sports. First of all, I'm a black belt in judo, which I absolutely love martial arts. I still train Muay Thai, don't do judo as much anymore just because I don't have a great gym near me. I'd love to get back in the gym, though. But hear me out. This is what I do now. I do yoga, I do running, I do, you know, fitness stuff in the gym, I weightlift. But there was a time where I was actually really good at volleyball. Well, I wasn't good initially. Actually, I kind of sucked. I am not what you would call a natural athlete. I'm just not. I like sports, I like running. I was built for cross country, man. I can just go on the cross country. But jumping high, not something I can do. Uh dynamic pure athleticism, yeah, that's not me. But what I do have is grit. I continue to show up every single day. In high school, freshman year, totally did not make the team. Sophomore year, did not make the team. Junior year, I kept showing up. I kept practicing. Finally, I made the team. In senior year, I was actually pretty good in high school. I was actually one of the top players on my team. College, thought I was gonna make it, thought I was gonna be right on the team. I was not. I did not make it my freshman or sophomore years. But you know what I did? I didn't just back down, I started showing up again. In my junior year, I was on the team. Why? Because I kept showing up. Now, that was an achievement that I always will carry with me, something that I was able to do because I continued to show up. But that's it. It wasn't that I just got on the team, it was that I was controlling what I could control. What could I control? Showing up for practice, getting out there every day and playing and trying to be better. But one of the most important things for resilience is having a purpose. If you can have a purpose, if you can have something that helps you choose to be resilient, it goes a long way. Now, from research at the Stanford Center on Longevity, there is research that shows people with purpose recover faster from setbacks. Now, here's something to remember that purpose gives struggle meaning. It might be challenging, there might be a lot going on, but without a why, everything gets heavier. For me, I was just giving a hard time. My daughter gives me meaning. Um, every day I show up to try to be a little bit better for her and other kids like her. I have my staff now that lean on me and need need need to work through what I'm creating. And that helps me continue to show up. My wife is one of the reasons I keep showing up. But just making this world a better place and helping the suffering of all the people around me is something that is a big, big why for me. I believe that we can all make a difference. Now, I don't know about you, but what keeps you going when things get hard? And why do you keep going when things get hard? You know, is it your family? That's a big thing for me. Is it your business? Is it your legacy? The love of the people around you is a powerful motivator. Being successful is a powerful motivator. Man, I want to be as big as Mel Robbins, as big as Diary of a CEO. I want to be as big as Joe Rogan. I don't know how to do it, but I know that if I keep showing up every single day and talking to people like this, I have a better chance of getting there. Focus on your effort, focus on what you can do, and then let go of the rest. Resilience will be the byproduct of that. Resilience is you continuing to show up and say, I'm still here. Hope you guys have a beautiful day, and I'll see you next time.