The Story That's Keeping You Small | Ivy Forero | The Sean Trace Show

I sat down with Ivy Forero, a Colombian-American living in Dubai, and one of the most insightful people I've had the chance to talk to.

We explored why the human brain is wired for fear, how the amygdala keeps us stuck in survival mode, and why so many of the stories we believe about ourselves aren't actually true.

Ivy breaks down the neuroscience behind self-doubt, limiting beliefs, and resistance. We talk about why doing something hard can feel ten times heavier than it really is, how childhood identities quietly shape our adult lives, and why optimism isn't about ignoring reality, it's about training your mind to see possibility.

We also dive into habits, meditation, movement, environment, and the powerful impact of the people you surround yourself with.

If you've ever felt stuck, overwhelmed, or like you're capable of more than you're currently living, this conversation will challenge the way you think about yourself and the stories running in the background of your life.

Your brain may be trying to protect you.

It may also be holding you back.

The question is: which voice are you listening to?

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

One of my mentors uh has this a really good analogy as well. I don't know if it's an analogy, but she always says, if the a door doesn't open for you, it's because of the person that is behind the door. That's it. And it this is uncomfortable. This is uncomfortable because it it it you have to take responsibility of who are you? Like how are you showing up to life? If you're not showing up like the expansive person that you want to be, then uh how do you expect that door to open for you? So um, but I would say 100% there's been uh many times that I can count where me just having an optimistic mindset and just having the conviction the conviction within myself of knowing I know I'm incredible, I know I'm gonna get the job, did ended up allowing me to get the job. And also, what do I do if I don't I don't get the job? The reality is that you also have to tell yourself, if I don't get the job, that doesn't mean anything about me. I'm still an incredible person. It means that something else better is coming. So see, so I didn't get the so see how you were shifting the perspective, but you also know that something better is coming because if you were meant to get the job, you would have gotten the job, right? So um, so yeah, I would say optimism has helped me to open doors, or if the door did not open, to know that at least something better is coming, or that there's other areas in my life that I need to pay a little bit uh more of attention.

SPEAKER_00 1:35

Well, welcome everyone back to the Sean Trace Show. I have an awesome repeat guest with me today. Uh, would you like to tell people who you are and a little bit about what you do?

SPEAKER_01 1:43

Yes. Hi guys, my name is Ivy Ferrero. I am based out of Dubai. I have been here for about two years, grew up in the US, originally from Colombia. I am actually working for a big German company in the exhibition space, which is very exciting. Um, and I'm in the space of customer success, but outside of that, I'm just a curious human being who likes to explore what's possible when you go all in and you commit to yourself and you try to show up as the best version of yourself.

SPEAKER_00 2:17

I love that. Like if you can show up as the best version of yourself, you're doing something right. You know, I I wanted this to ask you too, because we've had a uh we had a really interesting conversation last time. And it left me wanting to ask you more. And one of the things that I wanted to talk to you about was um that quote behind you. Like you have a really cool quote on the wall behind you, and it says, uh, what's the best that could happen? And I was talking to someone the other day, and I I was saying, you know, I think a lot of people are pre-wired to think bad things are gonna happen. There's gonna be bad outcomes. But that is this very positive perspective. And I wanted to ask you, like, what does it really mean to believe that good things are gonna happen in your life? And how does that, how do you uh make that happen in your life?

SPEAKER_01 3:06

I love that. Uh I love this question because I feel like uh I feel like really when we talk about social media or the news, it's all fear-mongering. So when we're exposed to fear, I feel like that's the number one thing that our ego wants to do is to protect us. And then if we look at this from a neuroscience point of view, our amygdala, which back in the day it used to protect us when lions were around and prays and whatnot. But now our amygdala is just always scanning for uh things that can threaten you, right? So I feel like it's very human to try to go to a point where you are in fear. And sometimes I also feel like we are searching or we want to say, oh, like, oh, see, I knew I was not going to get that job. Because you want to see the future so that way you don't get disappointed. That's what basically really, without our us subconsciously doing this, this is basically what our mind is doing. So I feel like when we're looking at look uh when we're talking about looking at life, you can you have two lenses. One lens is your thriving, and when a problem and a challenge happens, which is always going to happen because life is like that, there's ups and downs, you can co-create with what's happening and um and um you know grow from it, or you can fall into victim home, which is like, why did this happen to me? And yada yada. So I feel like it really comes down to having the choice of believing that good things are going to happen to you, because uh the reality is that we're constantly co-creating, and they say that we uh neuroscience and quantum physics talks about the fact that we are constantly uh uh co-creating with reality and that anything that happens is just it's just a response to to the sort of view that you have in in life and and what you're trying to um create in reality.

SPEAKER_00 5:13

Think that we forget how powerful we are. And that the unif we forget that the whole world, like you think about that. Like if you're sitting there thinking about I am just thinking about red cars, red cars, right? They're gonna start showing up. You start seeing them, and you're sitting there, you don't realize how powerful that is, that you start thinking about red cars, and all you're gonna see is red cars. And it's wild like that. I remember um my friend was obsessed with this one actor, and she was like, This is the this is my dream person. I really want to meet them someday. And I was like, Well, okay, maybe they're not that interesting in real life, whatever it might be. But what happened was she started attracting all these people that look just like that person, like started dating, and they just started popping into her life. And I was like, I don't know how you have this obsession with that person, but it's kind of wild that they're popping up. In the end, though, what's interesting to me is that we have this power to create our lives. And we have this power to either choose one of two paths, a path of optimism or a path of pessimism. And the pessimism, yeah, certainly there might be tough things that come along. And I'm not saying be ignorant of ups and downs, but I am saying focus on the success that you could create. There's this great book called Barking Up the Wrong Tree by Eric Barker that talks about success. And one of the things he says is if people who think they're luckier are luckier, well, why? He goes into the science of it, because they simply try more. They get out there, they put themselves out there, and they believe that good things are gonna happen. And when you do that, you're creating this, not even talking about manifesting, just sheer number of numbers, just sheer numbers. You're gonna get more opportunities, you know? But I want to ask you about that too, because why do you think so many people find it easier to expect the worst instead of expecting something good?

SPEAKER_01 7:22

Yeah, I I I I feel because they want to see what's out there and be able to say, okay, I see that this is going like I like the example that I was saying, like, oh, I see I knew that I wasn't going to get the job. It protects them in a certain way because they're not let down because they were like, oh, see, I knew. So you make things worse because I feel like it basically it confirms it to your mind that what we were expecting was the worst case scenario.

SPEAKER_00 7:58

We tie it up to our identity. Our identity becomes tied to I'm the guy who's not successful. I'm the guy who never gets the way that these things, you know, luck never goes my way. And people start telling themselves those stories. When you tell yourself those stories, it is really challenging because you know, you might be lucky. You might be the person, and I'm saying that you are lucky, you know, but if you don't get out there and try, you're it's always gonna be a no, you know? Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:30

Yeah, I know you you went into the root of it, is these identities that we have built um for ourselves that also come from our childhood, right? So if you grew up poor and your dad always told you, you gotta work hard to to make it in life, life is not fair. So you also have that sort of identities that you have to become aware of and let them go because they are basically giving you limited beliefs. And really, Sean, it also comes down to the neuroscience of, you know, let's say when something bad happens, and when we talk about brain waves, we have beta brain waves, then uh we have alpha, and between beta and alpha, there's the analytical mind. And then we get to Tera is super consciousness. In Tera is when you're basically seeing opportunity, you're seeing solutions, you see potential. So when things bad happen to us, if we stay in the beta brainwaves, that's too narrow. You don't see possibility, you don't see opportunities, you don't see solutions. And the problem at that level is that you're not really suggestible to new information. Have you ever had a friend who was having a really bad time and you gave them an advice and he basically it went up one ear and the other, right? It's because when you have lower brain, you cannot see possibility and you're not so uh you cannot uh process new information.

SPEAKER_00 10:07

100%. It's interesting too that when people like with my daughter, I have to get her to turn this on. She sits there and she's like, uh, like everything's spinning. But I'm like, all right, like focus in. We need to bring this back, bring it back to right now so that we can see where we're at. You know, where are we right now? Because the right now is where you can kind of make those decisions and get things grounded and think figure things out. Because when you're sitting out there two years in the future, it's not easy to kind of stay grounded and what's going on. So I find that by pulling it back to now, it's like because one of the things that you can only create in the present. Like you can't create 10 years in the future. You can only create in the present. And I think at the present, there's always a silver lining, you know, with wherever you're at, there's always a silver lining if you can focus on it. But it's a mental reframing that you have to do. Now, I'll ask you like, do you think believing good things are possible actually changes what people do today? You know, when I start thinking good things are possible, am I gonna act different?

SPEAKER_01 11:18

Yes, for sure. Because basically, uh when we talk about the the if um uh the feelings of fear, doubt, overthinking, those are basically not making us uh feel good, right? You don't feel expansive, you're closed. And this is when people start shrinking, they they are uh shrinking themselves, they don't show up fully on social media, they don't want to be seen because they have these sort of fears and thinking that good things are gonna happen, I think it really opens up a little bit of um of the field of unlimited possibilities. It allows you to see it beyond what you the material. Let me ask you this, Sean. When we talk about having conviction, okay, and um uh being convicted, and um what's the other word I really like? Um anyway, conviction. Conviction is going at it, going after your dreams, even when the proof isn't proven. You haven't seen it, yes, right? Right, so you have to go for it. And but but humans we're constantly looking for validations. Am I in the right track? Did people like my post? Did people are people liking it? We need that sort of validation, but having conviction basically allows us to move that point that things have not materialized, but you're going for it because you you believe it's so deep in your heart. How does it have shown up for you?

SPEAKER_00 12:49

For me, I find that I feel this deep need to keep pushing, a deep need to keep going. And like sometimes I feel like there's this when I feel that conviction, it's something that tells me to walk across the stream even when I can't figure out a way. There's a great scene in the movie, uh, I think it's called Harriet by Harriet Tubman, and Cynthia Erzo plays the character, uh Harriet Tubman, and she's guiding slaves to freedom. And these slaves are escaping this horrible situation, and as they are crossing this river, they are wading into the river, and suddenly what happens is like everyone's like, we're gonna drown. The water's too deep. We are going to drown. And she says, No, we are not. And she walks out, she walks the whole way across the river, and it never gets above her neck. And I find that conviction is that walking into the water when you don't know, you don't know how deep it is. But you know that either A, you'll be able to figure out a way across, B, you'll be able to figure out how to swim. C, you're gonna figure something out, you know? Um, but you will be able to get across. And I think that is the most important thing is to figure out how to keep walking forward even when there doesn't seem to be a way.

SPEAKER_01 14:17

Oh, that's deep. That's so deep. And you know what the other thing that I'm thinking about, uh Sean, is that there's two things at play here. There's we have free will as humans, right? Yeah. And there's there's divine intervention, which is allowing if you believe in God, whoever your goddess, if you believe in the universe, Allah, whoever that that person is for you, you have to allow a space for divine intervention. You know, and this is what I believe that the system, like uh going to school, telling you that you need a job to work eight to five and yada yada, and the religion, putting God outside of yourself has done it has done uh wrong things for us because suddenly we don't feel like we are A, also creating a reality, and B, we don't basically allow for there to be space for God to actually intervene and for miracles to happen.

SPEAKER_00 15:16

Mm-hmm. I love that because if you're if you close off before you even start, if you close the door before you even walk out the door, there's no room. There is no room for anything good to happen. Um, and that's the thing, it has to be open. You have to open that door for there to be permission for things to happen. And I it it makes me think about this too, because optimism versus self-deception. And those are two different things, you know. Optimism is this belief that there is a way. And even if you don't know the way, there's a belief that there is a way. Self-like deception or lying to yourself is this idea that I'm not gonna look at something that's going on over here. Optimism is I'm fully aware of all of these possibilities, but I still am choosing to think that there's a way. I'm still choosing to think that things will go better than I think. Because, you know, so say you're out on a hike and you see something, you're like, oh, that's that's that looks a little dangerous. It doesn't mean that I'm gonna go, hey, I'm gonna go dance on the edge. It means, you know, I see that I think that I'm gonna have a safe, wonderful trip, but I see these challenges, you know? It's not about lying to yourself, but it's about figuring out how to focus on one side while being aware that there are more than one possibility, you know?

SPEAKER_01 16:42

Yeah. And and and to add to that, also believing that you can overcome anything. Right? I I feel like that's that's uh that's also something that we get too cut up in. And you know, if I were to go talk about the conversation that we're having, it's really how do you take yourself from your analytical brain that on a daily basis you can go to to JPT to CLUD and and look up on a daily basis how many thoughts does a human being have? It comes out to be like 70,000 thoughts. And out of those 70,000 thoughts, 80% of those thoughts are the same as before, the day before, the day before, the day before, the day before. So is how do you rewire your brain to see possibilities, to let go of identities that no longer serve you, that are giving you limited beliefs? And how do you become more aware? Because it's easy to do a meditation, but then after you come out from the meditation, you have to be aware during your day so you can actually regulate on real time and say, oh, wait, that's such a lack mentality mindset. I'm gonna shift myself a little bit. And also not judge yourself or shame yourself because you're having these thoughts. You know, it's all about also giving yourself compassion, but really come down to being aware to be able to regulate and change those things in real time during during your day, which is super hard because we're in autopilot.

SPEAKER_00 18:09

Right? We are on autopilot, and we aren't aware of the, and I think one of the challenges is becoming about aware of how many negative thoughts we have going through our head. Like there are so many, and people get just bogged down by the negative and don't realize how heavy it can get. You know, there's a lot that we have that can go wrong, but like again, there's a lot that can go right. And you can sit there and go, hey, I'm gonna slow down right now and reevaluate. Because that re-evaluation is like taking the time to step back and go doomsday, like this doomsday mentality, like, oh, it's all gonna fall apart. It's like, oh, it's gonna grow right. And I feel like the part of this is about slowing down that um part of us that's catastrophizing. That's like everything's really messed up right now. No, it's not. It might be that you're dealing with some ups and downs, but you know what? You have the ability to get through them. And it simply comes down to deep breathing, present moment awareness. And I find the thing that helps me the most is music. Finding a playlist that helps me shift my energy because you have to be in that positive, happy place to be able to create it, you know? And I think that that is um the most important thing for me is to be aware of how to kind of change up my vibration, uh so you say, you know.

SPEAKER_01 19:42

I love that. I love music, is life for sure. I cannot do anything without music.

SPEAKER_00 19:47

100%. What what's what's your go-to playlist when you're feeling down?

SPEAKER_01 19:53

Uh no, no, no. When I feel down, honestly, I just have like a shuffle most play on Spotify. Yeah. Which is a mix of a lot of different genres. So it's not like a specific thing that I go to.

SPEAKER_00 20:08

I love it. Well, that good, it's a good mix, you know? Well, I want to ask you this next question too, because have there been moments in your life where you're expecting something good helped you move differently or make a better decision?

SPEAKER_01 20:22

Um, yeah, absolutely. When would I see this? Yeah, I mean, I would say in general, yes, for sure. I think it's really about taking it one day at a time. I feel like what sometimes we get too bottled up by time, right? Am I behind in life? You know?

SPEAKER_00 20:42

Right.

SPEAKER_01 20:42

I feel like sometimes there's so much pressure that we have to post on LinkedIn, we have to post on Instagram. And I actually have taken away myself from feeling anything that causes me pressure, I do not uh uh give into. So right now, you know, when it comes down to writing content, I like to write content when I feel like it, right? And uh I'll tell you uh when it feels real, instead of all of these creators that feel the pressure that they need to post. So you also need to think about where is the energy that is coming from when you're posting, right? Is it performing? Do you want validation? Do you want likes, or is it coming because you have something truly important to share, right? Um I wanted to share with you this analogy that uh this mentor that I have, um uh I was I was listening to a podcast of her this the other day, and she was basically talking about the resistance. Before we get out there to do the thing, we already have built so much resistance in our heads. So I'll give you an example. So when you go to the gym and you lift a two pound weight, everybody can lift a two pound weight, right? But if I put my arm on top of your arm while you're holding that two pound weight, suddenly it feels heavier. It's becomes A 30-pound weight, right? And this basically goes back to that resistant that sometimes doing the damn thing is a two-pound weight. It's it's it's easy to do it, but the resistant, we worked ourselves so much before doing the thing that now it feels like it's it's so heavy. So now when anything that I do, I'm like, yeah, this is so easy. This is this two-pound weight because obviously it is normal that we feel resistant to do certain things, but it really burns so much energy, the overthinking before you get out there. And I feel like this is a good example to give you of what has helped me to move in a much lighter way through life instead of feeling like I have a lot of resistance to things.

SPEAKER_00 22:45

So interesting. I want to ask you this though, too, because how do some people almost feel safer being negative than being hopeful? Because I mean, it can really be easy to get down into that.

SPEAKER_01 23:00

Yeah. No, I I really think they have built an identity around this.

SPEAKER_03 23:05

Really.

SPEAKER_01 23:06

And it also depends who you hang out with. So there's several factors. We spoke about like when you were a child. If you had a parent that was very pessimistic about life, trust me, you uh might have picked up a little bit from that, and you grew up thinking that life is gonna be hard because you saw your parents struggle. So suddenly it's like life is hard, life is hard. Then you go on to school, and I feel like one of the things that influences a lot is the people that you hang out with. If you hang out with very pessimistic people, guess what? You're gonna be think about a very pessimistic uh world. So I really think about the fact that we have created these identities that come from childhood, the people that we hang out with. And in general, this is the outlook that we have in life. And also, we talked about also social media, right? Social media is now uh for the past year saying, AI is gonna take our jobs, AI is gonna because this is what does well in the news and what does well in the media. So so we also have to be careful of what we expose ourselves to.

SPEAKER_00 24:15

I 100% agree. Everyone is so quick to like um jump on the bandwagon of fear. It's really a challenging move to figure out how to not do that.

SPEAKER_01 24:30

Yeah, yeah, it's definitely challenging. But having the awareness um of like, hey, am I being too negative or too positive? Yeah, I mean, like which way are you leaning? That's why I'm saying you're either in surviving mode or you're thriving. You have to choose which one you're going to be on because surviving it's not gonna help you move forward. You're either Joe Dispensa says uh that you are either a record of the past or you are creating in the future. Which one? Yes, like which one are you doing?

SPEAKER_00 25:02

It it has to be one, you know, and um it's really interesting because for me, uh, you have to choose. And one of the things, too, that I find, and I I want to ask you about this because I believe that when you start expecting good things to come, it makes you more resilient, it helps you bounce back because you're like, well, you know what, this is temporary setback, and it's a mindset thing. I think that this is just a temporary problem. I really think that something good is coming. So, how do I make that happen?

SPEAKER_01 25:34

You know, what I'm thinking uh about is the fact that not a lot of people do um introspection or contemplation about who they are. And it's uncomfortable because it takes a certain amount of um of responsibility, of self-leadership to find out what I think the things that I think, right? Because if we talk, you don't want to be the sheep that follows what society is doing. At some point, you gotta break away from the system. This is basically the matrix. You take the red pill or the blue pill. And at some point, you need to question the way that you were raised, you need to question the way that you think. You I I feel like having that sort of um self-leadership uh it's what can help you to the other other opportunities or other doors. And yeah, just like what you said, building resilience is through thinking like, okay, I know challenges are gonna come, I can do it, and I know I can, I can, I can go through them. I feel like believing in yourself and backing yourself up also creates a bit of of resilience.

SPEAKER_00 26:45

Because when you start looking at it, going, you know what, I've gotten through five things like this in the past. I know that those were not, those didn't beat me up. So if I got through that, I can certainly get through this, you know? And it's like it becomes much easier to think about the way through those things. Like, I remember when I was learning to ride a bicycle and I rode a simple bicycle. But then once I figured out that bicycle, I was like, wow, I mean, if I was able to ride that bicycle, I can ride this little bit bigger one. And it was something that I was thinking of like, what was some of the things that helped me? And I know it seems like people go, oh, well, you know, you talk about all this stuff, but what can I do? Habits. I think that habits are one of the most important things that someone can start putting into play uh to create this positive mindset. And I want to ask you like, what habits help someone start shifting from fear and doubt into hope and expectation?

SPEAKER_01 27:45

Yes, now number one is stop doom scrolling. And I might say I'm not a perfect person. I'm not a perfect person, but it shouldn't be the way that you you wake up in the morning and you immediately get on Instagram. No, because the morning is the biggest moment for you to prime yourself for the day. So in the morning, you want to I personally am a huge believer of meditating, okay? Right. And meditating to do two things get from yourself out of your analytical brain, like train it. It will take a time. At first, yes, you're gonna have thoughts of like, oh, I have to buy this, or like very intrusive thought. The idea is just to watch the thoughts and let them go. And over time, you will have less, less, less of these sort of um thoughts. And I personally like guided meditations. Um, but then I would say the the second thing that meditating does is getting over yourself. You just gotta get over yourself, uh right?

SPEAKER_03 28:47

Like you need to get over yourself.

SPEAKER_01 28:49

So I would say those those two habits already um would do a lot of uh big big big things for you. I mean, you really have to pay attention as to how you're spending your time. Um, and then of course, you got you wanna feel good. Uh habits like going to the gym, like it's really good for your brain waves. It's it's really good overall to be able to um release dopamine and oxytocin and all of this feeling good uh good things because the fact of the matter is if you are unhealthy, you're not going to feel really good. Uh you're not gonna have the energy. So I I would say those three things. Um so maybe it really also comes down to the lifestyle, if you want to say.

SPEAKER_00 29:33

I love that. I I think it is a love style, and you know, I love that we bring up exercise because I think exercise and getting out and having meditation, yoga, those are things that might seem uh little, but they help you have little wins. And little wins are some of the things that I think are some of those, and that's why I love the habits, because if you're like, I'm gonna accomplish some big goal, man, big goals can be really overwhelming. Really overwhelming. Um but if you can break it into little pieces, then it's much, much, much, much easier to say, hey, you know what, I succeeded 25 times yesterday. I can succeed in other ways too. Um I I I I like it because there is this ability uh for them to change it, but they have to want to be changed it, they have to believe they can change it. And deep down, a lot of people block their own blessings because they don't think they're good enough or they don't believe they're worthy enough. And I want to ask you, how can someone start identifying ways that they aren't believing in themselves?

SPEAKER_01 30:44

This is another deep topic. This is it because um a lot of us, uh, even including myself, um childhood, we uh we grow up thinking, like, let's say if you have parents that were present and they were able to give you the love that you needed, you have safety within your body. But if you grew up with a parent that was absent, you feel unsafe, right? And then you create these sort of like traumas. So one of the things that as adults we then start doing is feeling not worthy, feeling uh um like people don't see you, um, feeling like you need something outside of yourself to complete you. And suddenly we go into really unhealthy relationships, we uh shrink to feed a certain uh sort of like friend or whatnot. I feel like the number one thing that has helped me to to basically know that I am worthy of the life of my dreams. I'm worthy of being a millionaire. A lot of people do not think they're worthy of being a millionaire. So thinking like they're never going to be a millionaire has kept me them thinking like, oh, I'm I'm probably never gonna really win a million. So I think it's just changing these identities and letting them go because they don't serve me any good. Is this identity?

SPEAKER_00 32:12

I love it that that shifting of the identity because I remember for a long time sitting there telling myself, I am not good with money, I am not good with money, I am not good with money. And I've suddenly, it was like this realization like I am good with money. I just didn't have the right opportunities to interact with it. And then when I started to be able to interact with it more, I was like, well, I'm actually much better with money than I thought. You know, so it's interesting that um we tell ourselves these little stories in our head, but so often they're just like these toxic little things. And for me, the secret for me to try to be more positive is to really slow down and to minimize the number of inputs I'm dealing with as well. If I have too much stuff come into my head, especially the news, especially when I'm seeing all of the bad things happening around the world, it gets overwhelming. And uh the truth is, is not all of that affects my life, you know? But I think that those things just get in there. And if you get so much loaded into your head, it's really hard to be optimistic, you know. Um, but when I've been optimistic, I've seen doors open that I didn't know would be able to open. And I want to ask you that. Like, have you seen optimism actually open doors in life that another mentality might have kept closed?

SPEAKER_01 33:35

Yeah, uh look, one of my mentors uh has this really good analogy as well. I don't know if it's an analogy, but she always says, if the a door doesn't open for you, it's because of the person that is behind the door. That's it. And it this is uncomfortable. This is uncomfortable because it it it you have to take responsibility of who are you? Like, how are you showing up to life? If you're not showing up like the expansive person that you want to be, then uh how do you expect that door to open for you? So um, but I would say 100% there's been uh many times that I can count where me just having an optimistic mindset and just having the conviction and the conviction within myself of knowing I know I'm incredible, I know I'm gonna get the job, did ended up allowing me to get the job. And also, what do I do if I don't I don't get the job? The reality is that you also have to tell yourself, if I don't get the job, that doesn't mean anything about me. I'm still an incredible person, it means that something else better is coming. So see, so I didn't get this. So see how you were shifting the perspective, but you also know that something better is coming because if you were meant to get the job, you would have gotten the job, right? So um, so yeah, I would say optimism has helped me to open doors, or if the door did not open, to know that at least something better is coming, or that there's other areas in my life that I need to pay a little bit uh more of attention.

SPEAKER_00 35:07

It's like a light. Shining a light. You have to turn that light on to see areas where there is no light. If you are not happy with your finances, well, when you shine that light into that room and you see where, well, where am I losing money? You're not happy with your this or that. Well, where are you not aligned? And I think that optimism is this powerful thing that says, okay, I might not have all the information, but I have enough to figure out the next step. And I think that once you have that optimism, that mindset, because it's not this, I think that people think optimism is just like, well, hey yo, buddy. My favorite example of optimism is the TV show uh Ted Lasso. And in that, Ted gets sent over from America. He gets recruited to coach a football team in England. He knows nothing about soccer or football, but he knows about optimism. And when he gets there, he's always positive and optimistic, and everyone thinks that he's just this idiot. You know, you don't see the problems. And he's looking at them, and finally there's a point where he's like, I know that I'm not a football coach. I know that I am not prepared to be here. I know that I am in like over my head. But I also know people. I know optimism, and I know how to connect with people to get them to get to that next level, to be inspired, to do amazing things. And by doing that, his like, it's just this, he's like, and that's why I'm gonna keep showing up. And one of the superpowers of optimism for me is that optimism is directly tied to resilience. You might not have everything that you need to. Optimism might not mean that you have this magic wand that everything's gonna be easy, but it might be the magic wand that allows you to keep showing up and allows you to keep putting one foot in front of the other because sometimes that's the medicine that you need. Sometimes that's the magic you need is the simple ability to keep showing up, you know?

SPEAKER_01 37:09

Yeah, I love this. I love this. For short, look through career, even through my career, there were times that I got the job and it's I knew I didn't have like all the experience, but I knew I could figure it out. I'm like, I know I can figure it out. I can figure it out. So I feel like that can take you even further. Um, and again, we go back to what with the resistance. If you don't take that first step, then you will never actually know. But being having an optimistic mindset will definitely allow you to overcome anything, I think.

SPEAKER_00 37:43

I agree. And I think one of the most powerful parts of that is that you are gonna be surrounding yourself by people who also have that mindset. Yeah, you're gonna be pulling in these people that, and this is the if this is the one secret sauce that I can find from this to tell people focus on this. Surround yourself by people who also have that optimistic mindset. Because I remember that I had this business idea and I went up to this one friend of mine, I told him the idea, and they're like, Yeah, that's not good. That's gonna fail. You're gonna have all these problems, these are all the things that can go wrong. And I was like, I don't want to be hearing that. Like, I understand that there's prank things that can go wrong. I understand that there could be problems. I want to hear ways that I can make it succeed. I want to hear, you know what? That's great. I believe in you. Keep trying, keep, keep, keep at it, see what you can accomplish. Because in my own head, I all I have that negativity. You know, it pops up sometimes. I try to keep it at bay, but it pops up at times. So, what I want to do is to surround myself with other people who can also see what could go right and help me see that as well.

SPEAKER_01 38:56

Yeah, you we definitely be need uh big cheerleaders. Um the thing is like this is really a reflection of their own limitations.

SPEAKER_03 39:06

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 39:07

And and they're they're projecting onto you because it also makes them feel uncomfortable that you're going for it and maybe they're not going for things that they want to go for. So they that's basically the goal and have a projection uh into what the reality is. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 39:24

Yes, I love that. What what's one way that you show up every day in your own life to and try to be more optimistic?

SPEAKER_01 39:33

What is one way that I show up in my life being optimistic?

SPEAKER_00 39:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 39:38

Um, yeah, look, I feel like one way in which I show up really big is um at work. Yeah. Yeah. I would say at work I'm I'm building a new department, so so there's a lot of um eyes on me and a lot of expectation and I guess uh uh felt pressure. Um, but yeah, knowing that everything is a two-pound weight, and of course I can do it. Of course, I can figure out building up the department, uh, you know. And the crazy thing is that uh one of my mentors says that at the end of the day, whether we're talking about past, present, future, all parallel realities are happening right now, and you're just really remembering. So it's interesting to know that I tell myself a lot, I'm remembering. I've already set up this department, it's already a successful department. I'm just remembering how I have done it.

SPEAKER_00 40:33

I love that. You know, I I try to see like a younger version of myself. I like to visualize a little Sean and sit there and see that Sean and go and tell him, you know what? You might not have all the answers, but you can figure this out. You can figure this out. And if you you get stuck, I'm here with you and I'll help you figure it out. And I think that has been my secret sauce of just telling myself, keep showing up, keep showing up. And and you know, when you do, try to have the best attitude you can and remember that it's good to have.

SPEAKER_01 41:07

Yeah, this is this is really what it comes down to. It comes down like, look, we're we're in, we come into this life, right? To get to know yourself, um, to follow your highest excitement with maximum enthusiasm, right? And hopefully we don't have much expectation, but we have created all this pressure about making it big in life, buying a house, buying a car. It's almost like time and feeling behind. We have set this timeline. And we see a friend buying a house, and suddenly we're like, oh fuck, I'm but I'm behind. And and I feel like we have just created too much pressure for ourselves. And we should need we need to relax. Because also, this this is connected to the nervous system, the the the always feeling on alert or hyper-vigilance when you're constantly searching for a threat outside of yourself. And really, life is meant to be a big adventure. And because we're we're when we're also playing, we are inspired, we are creative, and if you're not playing, then I don't even know what is the meaning of life if we put ourselves so much pressure.

SPEAKER_00 42:15

Yeah, right. I try to every day stay more optimistic as well because of my why. And my why is the little daughter that I have that every day, and I think about this like if I just were to every day trying to tell her doom and gloom, you know what, dad, I want to, I want to go up for this thing at school. Yeah, you could, or you know, you might fail. And failing's awful. And think about that. If you were someone who was to talk to you that way, and so I just try to remind myself to talk in a way that is as uplifting as I can, because maybe it's not going to be easy. You know, when my daughter's out there training boxing, boxing's not easy. Some days you fall down, sometimes it hurts. But if you can keep showing up, keep getting up, keep standing up, you'll feel better afterwards. You'll feel stronger afterwards, and you'll be happy you did. And I think that's where it's just one day at a time. And you know what? Maybe optimism isn't the complete answer, but it sure is gonna make your life feel better than the options and the alternatives, you know?

SPEAKER_01 43:29

That's it. Yes, that's it. You you nailed it. You nailed it. It's for sure gonna make you feel better. What what do you want to do? Stay there and and and count how many ways life is has has done you wrong and why it's not fair. No, you have to like move on and start creating uh from a place of the future. And really, our children are our biggest medicine and our biggest teachers. And yes, I I believe they're the uh parents have a big path to enlightenment because of our children, because they remind us so much about what it is to play, and really if you're a conscious parent as well. You want to raise children that from a place of of of high consciousness, right? That they can that they're unstoppable, that they have no limit, that they feel empowered, that they feel confident, and that they feel like they can do it all. So break out.

SPEAKER_00 44:26

I love it. And and if we can spread some of that onto our adult selves, it's even better.

SPEAKER_01 44:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 44:32

Where can people go to find out more about you and what you do?

SPEAKER_01 44:36

Yes, so people can find me on LinkedIn. My name is Ivy Ferrero. I'm really good at responding uh messages on LinkedIn. I like I like to believe that. Um, so you can message me, or you can find me also on Instagram as well by the same name.