From Struggle to Strength | Harry Psaros | The Sean Trace Show

In this episode of The Sean Trace Show, I sit down with Harry Psaros, bestselling author, executive neuroscience specialist, martial artist, and one of Pittsburgh's most passionate autism advocates. 

Harry opens up about his journey raising his son Gus through an autism diagnosis, the devastating setback of watching two and a half years of therapy progress disappear after a single accident, and what it truly means to refuse to quit. We talk about resilience as a daily choice, the Greek philosophy of philotimo - doing good for the sake of good, and why real strength has nothing to do with toxic masculinity and everything to do with empathy, legacy, and showing up fully for the people who need you. 

Harry also breaks down his 2% Rule, a mindset framework that helped him survive the overwhelm of early diagnosis and come out stronger on the other side. 

What's one small action you've taken recently that created an unexpected ripple effect for someone else?

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

I'm 25 years old. At the time, a rising engineer. I'm no longer that. I have an engineering degree with a minor in physics and philosophy. And I all of a sudden I'm on the way home from a business trip and I felt a heaviness in my chest. At that time, I was probably 210 pounds of muscle. Um, I went to the ER, it was getting pretty severe. They thought I was bench pressing and I did something wrong. Turns out I had severe case of myocarditis and it nearly stopped my heart. So, point being is, and this has helped me in life. Here I am, 25, considered the healthy guy. People are coming to me for exercise tips, things like that. And now I have a doctor bringing in my wife at the time, we weren't even gauge at that time, saying, hey, listen to my parents, he may not make the night. And I heard that. So what it taught me is, you know, life is fleeting. You know, it, I that that could have been my last moment. So life is fleeting. You make the most of life of what you can. So I go back to the visualization thing I talked about. You know, when you go through something like that, you go through my son falling down the steps and losing nearly two and a half years of fair. Literally, all that money, all the progress. You know, everything else to me seems inconsequential. In particular with my case of myocarditis. So what I try to do, I think perspective is so mindset's number one, but perspective is so important. And you sit there and you I would tell anybody, analyze a situation and go, you know what? Yeah, I'm stressed out right now, but this isn't that bad. Ultimately, this isn't that bad. And what I need to do is just look at what I said is my goals and keep plowing forward. If you need to separate yourself for a minute to chill, I get that.

SPEAKER_01 1:54

Welcome everyone back to the Sean Trey Show. Uh, glad to have you all back with me. I've got an awesome guest with me today, would you like to tell people who you are and a little bit about what you do?

SPEAKER_00 2:02

Sure. So my name is uh Harry Piseris. Uh the reason I'm on, um, I wrote a best-selling book on autism called From Struggle to Strength: A Father's Journey with Autism and the Power of Hope and Positivity. Uh, I'm also an executive neuroscience specialist for Ab V. And uh to add to the list, I'm also one of the top, if not the top, social media influencer for University of Pittsburgh Sports. We have a very fun podcast on Sundays. We also do a lot of Pittsburgh Steelers stuff. I I was just on some Miami Dolphins podcast because they took some pit players in the draft. So, needless to say, I'm a very busy man between book sports and uh developing uh therapeutic migraine clinics. It's a busy life, but it's a fun life. That's a lot, man.

SPEAKER_01 2:46

You've got a lot going on, which is kind of awesome. But like, how first of all, how do you balance all of that? That's my first question for you, like right from the get-go. How do you find time to balance all the stuff you're doing?

SPEAKER_00 2:56

I I'm a big A vision board guy, and I'm also big on just delineating and listing everything the day before. Um, I will map everything out. Now, thankfully, uh, from the sports end, it it doesn't take an extraordinary amount of time. Um That's a man. Do we mess up?

SPEAKER_01 3:15

No, no, I'm just saying I'm with you. I do checklists, dude. I'm sure I have to list. No, I list everything out. I'm agreeing with you.

SPEAKER_00 3:21

Like if I don't list it. So I, you know, I am very big on like budgeting my time. And and on top of that, you know, I like I said, I believe it or not, I used to uh uh teach a little bit of martial arts as well. And uh I always fit in workouts. I'm a big Eastern strength training guy. But to me, it's a matter of really just budgeting your time. Um, I am the type though, I'd rather go 100 miles an hour with my hair on fire than sit on the couch. Um I just I can't. I just can't sit around and uh I'm I'm an extraordinary type and I'm usually over caffeinated. So um that's the way I like to budget my day. And and my wife is is a beautiful woman, but she's the completely opposite. And she's used to just seeing me fly around the house or do anything else. So that's the way my life works. I love it, man.

SPEAKER_01 4:06

I love having that level of I get like I get overwhelmed and anxious if I'm not moving. I I feel like that movement is something for me that keeps me grounded as well. And I have to find ways to plan in that rest. But, you know, I I've been working on it. But I want to ask you this because I got a question for you. Like, you talked about all these things, but you know, when life gets hard, you know, because I'm sure that you are juggling a lot, you know, like when things don't go the way you hoped, or plans are not like going the way you you wanted, how do you keep going instead of instead of like throwing in the towel, man? I mean, because you got the sports background as well, you know, it's like in the martial arts. Like, how do you keep it up?

SPEAKER_00 4:48

So, first of all, in the martial arts, I'm a I'm a third-degree black belt in Tong Sudo. I had to get a shoulder replacement last year. I might have been called Master Piseris by now, or it might have taken me a couple more years, but um, you were taught never back down to an opponent. And and we're trained to fight multiple attackers when you're when you're training for your black belts. And and beyond that, I was very fortunate to have, I'm Greek, Greek American. Um we, you know, I grew up reading Stoke philosophy, things like that. And you control the controllable, right? And in, you know, in my and I gotta say this, the best mindset coaches I had on the planet were my parents. Uh my brother um is extraordinarily successful, one of the uh the top Greek American businessmen in the nation. And Mike, my brother, who's a philanthropist both internationally and nationally, has the same attitude. You don't give up. And I talk about it, you know, in my book, and the and the reason I say this, when I was ultimately challenged, we had actually, my son was diagnosed with autism. We went through two and a half years of therapy. The teachers are coming up to us going, I tell you what, we can't even see it in him anymore. I I, you know, he seems to be assimilating normally with the neurotypical kids. And then one day he was walking down our stairs here. We have two flights, and he put on, I can't stand Crocs to this day. He had on Crocs and he tripped because he forgot to uh put the back up. He fell down the stairs, had a major concussion, and we lost, and I'm not exaggerating, two years of progress. He went from knowing how to play the piano to forgetting it. Some of the basics he forgot. We literally, we had to sit there and I looked at my wife and I said, you know what? We still have a goal. We just took a massive blow, when I say massive body blow, my we were in hysterics because we lost everything, all progress. But that doesn't mean you quit. That just doesn't mean you quit. You have a goal, and with that goal, you do everything you can to get to that goal. And that's where that you have to have that attitude. Had we stopped then, my son would be in the abyss. And I'm proud to say this Saturday, I'm so pumped. He's gonna be walking across the stage getting his first degree from Kent State University. So my son is an example of what good looks like, but that wouldn't have happened if we gave up. So I don't know how to tell, you know, to the only thing I could tell people is you have a goal, you shoot relentlessly for that goal, and you are gonna have setbacks, but those setbacks make you stronger. Myself, my wife, my son, even my youngest son, who's a college football player. We're a stronger family and we're stronger individually from the challenges we went through with my son and through life, honestly. The obstacle is the way. You learn from the obstacle. So don't chican your plans, sit there and pout. You have your vision and you go at it relentlessly.

SPEAKER_01 7:45

I love that because I think that one of the things that people don't understand, you know, everyone talks about success, success this. You see all the people that post about it. They don't talk to you about you are gonna hit roadblocks and you are gonna hit obstacles and you are going to, I know people say it, but you don't realize it until you hit it. And when you hit it, you know, it's like getting punched by a like like an absolute like monster of a of a boxer. You just boom, and you're like one of the things that I learned when I did martial arts was you don't realize how heavy some of those punches are until you've taken one. And you just eat a punch and you're like, wow, that hurts way more. I remember once I was training at this boxing gym. There was this Nigerian guy, this Nigerian boxer. And I remember I was hitting a heavy bag and it was like going, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duck. This guy was like, boom, and the bag went like and I was just like one sun. He was like, and we were like paired up to spar one time, and I looked at my coach, I was like, Are you sure right now that this is a good idea? And like my coach was like, Yeah, just go have fun, man. I was like, dude, he is like 250 pounds. He's like, I'll take it easy on you. And I was like, you know, no, you're not, and it was like, he hit me at like half half speed, like pulled his punch massively, and man, it hurt. And as a father, as a businessman, I've been hit three times harder than that in life, you know, and just life throws you these things, and you're just like, wow, and you're you're really needing you don't know how to get up. How do you find your North Star when you get knocked out?

SPEAKER_00 9:30

Uh you know, to me, it's always the visualization of a way, and I will tell you, boy, um, you know, uh, like I said, just going through the struggles that I've gone through with my son, going through the struggles, and and and I tell you, I'll give you another example. Um, I am a martial artist, a boxer, a fitness nut. I love Eastern strength training, kettlebell, steel club, steel mace. It elongates the spine. I love it. Long story. But I'm 25 years old. At the time, a rising engineer. I'm no longer that. I have an engineering degree with a minor in physics and philosophy. And I all of a sudden I'm on the way home from a business trip and I felt a heaviness in my chest. At that time, I was probably 210 pounds of muscle. Um, I went to the ER, it was getting pretty severe. They thought I was bench pressing and I did something wrong. Turns out I had severe case of myocarditis and it nearly stopped my heart. So, point being is, and this has helped me in life. Here I am, 25, considered the healthy guy. People are coming to me for exercise tips, things like that. And now I have a doctor bringing in my wife at the time, we weren't even gauge at that time, saying, hey, listen to my parents, he may not make the night. And I heard that. So what it taught me is, you know, life is fleeting. You know, it I that that could have been my last moment. So life is fleeting. You make the most of life of what you can. So I go back to the visualization thing I talked about. You know, when you go through something like that, you go through my son falling down the steps and losing nearly two and a half years of fair. Literally all that money, all the progress. You know, everything else to me seems inconsequential. In particular with my case of myocarditis. So, what I try to do, I think perspective is so mindset's number one, but perspective is so important. And you sit there and you I would tell anybody, analyze a situation and go, you know what? Yeah, I'm stressed out right now, but this isn't that bad. Ultimately, this isn't that bad. And what I need to do is just look at what I said is my goals and keep plowing forward. If you need to separate yourself for a minute to chill, I get that. But perspective is important. Uh, I I I was at a uh I spoke and there was an um autism caring center. I'm on the board of directors here in Pittsburgh. They had a Mother's Day conference. I met all these warrior moms. They're overwhelmed right now, newly diagnosed children. And I told them, take a breath and just remember in your worst time, say that say the phrase, this too shall pass. You know why? Because it will. And if you keep working to improve your child, they're gonna improve and you're gonna be happy one day. So I think sometimes people get overwhelmed. You need to take a step back and realize I'm oh I'm panicking for nothing. You know, and don't get me wrong, there's some pretty bad situations in life, but for the most part, the totality of what they're upset about isn't all that important.

SPEAKER_01 12:31

Yeah, a couple, there's so much to unpack there. I love you're first of all the first person that I've met that also had a myocarditis. I had one when I was yeah, yeah, I was younger, I was healthy, fit, and it felt like my heart was this big. Just this. And I remember, and I was in the ER, and I had to like the hardest thing for me and in my recovery was like walking up a flight of stairs was not happening, you know, and like as I recovered, I would get winded walking out to my to my uh mailbox. And you know, the doctor's like, whatever you do, you have to keep walking. So that would be it. That day, one day I'd walk out to my mailbox and back. That was the goal. That's what I accomplished that day. And the next day, I walked to the mailbox a little further and back. And these little incremental steps, I had the goal, I knew I needed it, and I had the things that I was aiming for, the things that I knew were important to me. And it allowed me to recover, but like it wasn't easy, it was a long journey. And I think that one of the things that I recognized in that is resilience is not a single moment. Resilience is a string of moments connected together. Like everyone would like to think that resilience is like, I'm gonna be okay now. Now it might not be that way. It might be that you have to choose resilience again and again and again. I'm a black belt in Japanese-style jujitsu, which is similar to judo. And I tell people, I got a black belt from getting thrown on my ass 10,000 times and standing up 10,000 and one. You know, you just gotta keep getting up. And if you can keep getting up, um, it changes a lot of stuff, you know?

SPEAKER_00 14:17

I let me tell you, I love what you just said. A moment that choked me up is a father. So my youngest son, Max, is a safety for Allegheny College in Meadville, Pennsylvania. He said two ACL tears. So he just stood on the field recently. He never gave up and he altered his uh Instagram post and went knocked down eight times, stand up nine. And I said, I've done a good job as a father because I'm a mindset guy. And that kid said, you know what? I'm getting on that field. Not only that, he wants to be an NFL coach one day. And he he called me. I'll never, it was literally been the last month. He had his first pick six at practice. And here's a kid that was an unknown quantity, toward his senior year, first practice in college, retails it, goes right back, he has the brace on. He never gave up, but he called me and he goes, I got my first pick six, and they almost carried me off the field as with his teammates. I'm so pumped for him. That's the mindset you kind of have to have. But his strength came from two major losses with the knee. And I gotta tell you, that second one did him in. He was upset. I said, you know what, though, you're better than this. And he knew it and he fought back. And I think you're right. You're everybody has a moment of lapses, a moment of negativity on something happening. Learn from it and use it as fuel. Don't go into a cave. Use it as use it as rocket fuel to go back and come back. And I'm so he is the perfect example. He's I just moved him out last Friday. Um I'm so proud of him. And uh, I think every if everybody had his attitude, the world would be a better place.

SPEAKER_01 15:54

I love that. You know, and one of the things too is like I love, and I think that for people that are parents, like, dude, way to go. Awesome parenting, right there, by the way. Like, that's rad. But I think that parents can't understand that you can't start that early enough. You gotta really get in there. My daughter, um, she's we she for the past two years has been training Muay Thai. I mean, when she was a little kid, it was yourself.

SPEAKER_00 16:18

Yeah, I've done it. Yep, yep.

SPEAKER_01 16:21

And now, like, the cool thing is is we joke around. I was like, ha ha. And then she, I was like, yeah, you know, she's like acting like she's gonna box me. And I was like, Daddy can still beat you. But then she delivered this, like, she led she was joking around, but she got me with a right elbow, and I was like, damn, well, that that connected. That was pretty strong. But when we go to class, I train with them. So whenever she trains, I train in the same class. And the kids are tired, they're laying on the floor, and I look at her and I always tell her one thing. I said, Hey, can you stand? And she says, Yeah, I can stand. Why? I said, then stand. Get up, don't lounge around the floor. Because if you can stand, I want to see you can stand because it shows me that you're ready for the next round. It shows me that you're ready for whatever is going to come your way. And that to me is one of the most important things we can do is just to remember for ourselves, can I stand right now? Because if you can, stand up, go at it, get there. And, you know, I think that in our own lives, we would like to think that we're not little kids anymore. We'd like to think that we've got it all figured out. But at the end of the day, man, we're a bunch of most people are a bit of a mess. And they're still just trying to figure it out as they go, you know?

SPEAKER_00 17:36

We we are lifelong learners. And and I say this with humility. Uh I think the older I get, what I love about life. And if I turn my iPad around, I'm probably staring at about 300 books. You learn every day. You learn every day. And and the other thing I love what you told your daughter, and I've, boy, talk about humility going in with a tongue suit. We have the forge here locally, which is a it's meant for black belts, but it's all Muay Thai. And man, did I learn the hard way? You can get humbled really quickly. And and but, you know, there's a lot to be said about that because whether in altercation or whether in life, you gotta stand on your feet. You know, and and and I I I love what you told her. That's that's that's great advice. But uh no, you're right though. And I would encourage anyone listening to this, not that I'm saying anything uh pathetic, but you know, you really should be trying to improve yourself on a daily basis. I still see myself, I I'm in in Pittsburgh, I believe I'm a leader, both locally in the autism community here, but I'm a lump of clay. I I'd love that I and you know, and honestly, now the beauty is you could grab your phone. There's a million podcasts you could be listening to. Right. So I don't listen to a lot of blather. I like motivational books, podcasts. I'm I'm big into health, longevity. I listen to that, but you should be doing something every day to move the needle. Now that is where I'm still trying to motivate my kids. My kids' mindset, I think, is rock solid, but I'm still trying to explain to them instead of sitting in front of the Xbox, do something to improve yourself. Listen, go get an internship, something like that.

SPEAKER_01 19:06

I I talked to my daughter about that too. I sit there and I say, is this gonna help you? Like, is watching this video really gonna help you in your future? Because if it's not something you think is actually gonna be special or helpful, let's find something else to do with our time. But I I you you got me thinking about something here. And I I was looking up at what you talk about, and you talk a lot about strength, but not just being strong. But what does actually being strong mean to you in real life? Not just words, you know, what is real strength?

SPEAKER_00 19:36

And I know I'm gonna connect this with something. We are in a society, and it bothers me right now. Uh, Netflix has a documentary on it that with all of these influencers that with toxic masculinity. Um, I have to, strength is insulting others, being overly macho, being denigrating. You know what? Those people are not only weak, but I think if you dig with these guys half an inch deep, they all are very, very insecure. And I try to grab my son's friends who sometimes listen to these guys, and I gotta tell you, I hear some really rough stuff from from that from that group. To me, strength is a man, and you and I are both fathers, is supporting my spouse, supporting my children, raising my sons to be strong men, but also being kind to others, having compassion, having empathy, and making their stamp. So in Greek, we have a philosophy, it's called philotimo. This book, the reason I put it out was for philotimo. And there's it's the most powerful world word in the Greek language. There's really no true definition, but I say good for the sake of doing good and asking nothing in return. So for me, strength is am I making an impact on my community in a positive way, not getting arrested? Am I helping others, friends, family around me? Am I exuding positivity? Am I do I display empathy towards others when they're struggling? And how can I, what can I do to support them? That makes the world a better place. This other stuff is a bunch of bullshit. And I love that they all feel like they're tough guys. I love to get in a ring with them. You know, I sit there, but I I the reason it bothers me, and I had to put my arm around some of these young men. I heard a few referring to young ladies. And the one said, uh, it if I don't get blah, blah, blah from her, I'm gonna smack her around. I stopped. I said, Whoa, I know your parents. I know you. Where'd you hear that? We're listening to the Andrew Tates and all this other stuff. And I stopped. They said, Whoa, whoa, whoa, you got to change that around. I said, You're a better human being than that. And I had to have a talk with him, and he said, Thank you, Mr. Piseres. You know what? You're right. So to me, strength is exuding kindness, changing people's lives, raising your family the right way, being a solid citizen. Not this nonsense that we're here. I it just bothers me because what it does, it just puts a toxin into society. So that's Me is the definition of strength. On top of that, is a human being always sharpening the iron, like you and I just talked about. I if I stop reading today or trying to improve myself, I failed as a human being. So trying to do something every day to keep sharpening the sword and building yourself as a human being. All that to me is an amalgam put together that defines strength.

SPEAKER_01 22:24

I love that. The other day, we were walking home, and um, we were driving home actually, and there was a blind man crossing the street. And this is I live in Southeast Asia part of the time, and like the streets here are insane, like chaos. So I pulled my motorcycle over. I told my daughter, I said, You stay right here. I got it safely up off the road on the sidewalk, which is a safe spot. And I said, I had her hop off, stand next to the bike, and I said, stand right here. She's like, What are you doing? I ran over, and blind man couldn't see me. I didn't say anything to him, but I just I stopped the cars that were coming and I blocked traffic and I walked as he walked across the street. And a bunch of people looked at that act and were like, Yep, you know, like thank you for that, you know? And they were just like, and I live in a place where there's a lot of, you know, old memories, and I, you know, about how what Americans are. And I'm like, I get to be a different version of that, tell a different story. People don't realize how much of a representative you are to your whole world. So be a good steward of whatever it is that you represent, whether that be being a father, I want to be a great father, being a husband, I want to be an amazing husband, being a boss, I want to be the best boss. If you can really own up to what you're doing and recognize that even the smallest of acts that have zero return are important because they create this ripple effect. Those people that saw me and did a thumbs up maybe went on and were kind to someone else on their way home. The ripple effect. Exactly. The ripple effect. You do not know how that effect is, and you know, what goes around comes around. It will come back all the way to you. But even if you're, I would say, don't focus on that. Focus on simply being an agent of positivity and being an agent of change in our world. And the real strength is the strength to stand up and do it every damn day. That's what I classify as strength. What was it? Uh, Admiral William McRaven writes one of my favorite books, like awesome book.

SPEAKER_00 24:41

I already know where you're going. Make the bed. It's everybody should read that. It's awesome.

SPEAKER_01 24:46

Best book I've ever read. And it's so boiled down. And like I read, reread that every six months. And like when I have a hard day and I'm sitting there and my alarm clock's going up, the first thing I do is make my damn bed. And it's the difference that I need to start my day.

SPEAKER_00 25:02

Yep. I love it. I agree with you 100%. I just like I said, it the and I will say this to anybody that fights this the more, the more positivity you emit, it really is universal. The universe comes back and will reward you, you know? And um, and like I said, my my goal every day, I try to do, I always at minimum try to do one thing every day to help someone or to do something. And with the book, it's been easy because I have parents from around the world content, and particularly fathers. And I will tell you, I talked about that toxic masculinity. Those guys, can you can imagine who think they're tough guy, automatically now they don't know how to handle an autism diagnosis. So they will get a hold of me and I can right size their brain and it it and get them more involved. And a lot of it's challenging that masculinity and going, you're a dad, do your job. Your job is to do everything you can to improve this child. I don't care what they have, it's still your kid. And I always remind him too, God doesn't make a mistake. And, you know, they saw the strength within you. Go and help your spouse, go and help your child. So I think it's that important. But to me, that defines strength, not this nonsense that we're seeing now in society. I think, I think if you raise your children that way too, that's your legacy.

SPEAKER_01 26:20

I was in the gym the other day, and uh one of the guys, I'm 40 something, and I sit there, and all these young kids are like running like this in the way to high gym. Not the professional fighters, but I'm running and I'm like, hurry the F up. I'm swearing at these kids. I'm like, get your ass going. Let's go. You know, yeah. I'm pushing all of them. I was like, don't, don't run. And I look at my daughter, I'm yelling, run, you know, and I was like, and one of the things is, and I went up one of the fighters and like, dude, like you have this switch that when you turn it on, doesn't turn off. And I said, Yeah, that's like me being a dad, like I've got that. And like you have to have that. And they're like, Well, what does that look like? How do you do that? And I said, You just have to understand that there are some things that are bigger than you, some things that are more important than you. I said, We get into a fight, you're gonna beat me, but I'm not gonna quit. I will never quit. I will keep standing up, and you will have to break me to get me to stop. And so be it. Like, and like today, someone was asking me, what would you do if someone has threatened your daughter? I was like, Oh, it's done. Like, right, it's on. It's on. You have no idea. It is on like in so many levels. And I think that one of the things that for me that I'm trying to tell people is I'm not being macho macho, but I know that if there's a bear that walks in a room and I have my daughter on the other side of the room, I'm getting her out of that window. That bear is gonna take me to pieces. I'm not saying I'm beating that beer, but I will give my daughter time to get out of the room. I will, whatever, even if I have to charge the damn bear and offer myself up as a meal. And I think that sacrifice, the idea, and you know what, but we're not charging bears. What we have to do in real life is charge the homework, help with the laundry, help with whatever it is that needs to be helped with in our life. For my daughter, I had to go up and help between podcasts. I had to make sure she got her contacts because that's something that I'm good at. She's training onto hard contacts. It's really hard. And between my podcasts, even though I've got a bunch of podcasts, I go up and I do that because that's that's me being a great dad, you know?

SPEAKER_00 28:37

And I want to said something I want to really quickly touch on. There might be a guy listening to this and go, well, he's soft because I was talking about empathy. No. No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm knuckled up in the in the boxing ring many, oh my god, thousands of hours. And I also tried because I my shoulder went out in Muay Thai. Um, but the point being, what I'm trying to teach my kids is you be kind to people, but I'm the same father that could swing and I love kettlebells, swing a 90-pound kettlebell. I I've taken scars. I've had two knee surgeries, a clean out on this side. You could see the scar, brand new surgery here from all the fighting that I've done. So you can be both masculine and be emotion, you can be empathetic. That's a real man. You're a complete, because you mentioned this, you're complete. So if you're threatening my kid, I'm gonna knock you out of the roundhouse. I promise you with the kick to your head. But the point being, I don't want to get to that level. But you can be that to me is a complete father, a complete male. And if you don't have that soft edge, shame on you. Then learn it because you're not you need to be a better human being than that. So I just wanted to touch on what you said. I think it's so important.

SPEAKER_01 29:55

There was one guy I knew in college. He was like a Hapkido national champion. And probably the best fighter. I've gone up and sparred some really good guys. I've never been kicked that many times that quickly by one person. It was insane. Like whap wah wah. And I'm just like, ouch! That was uh that was way faster than I thought someone could kick. Like it was wild, man. And it wasn't like he wasn't, he was each of those kicks was solid. It was like his dad was like old school, his dad was like grand nat, grand champion from Korea. And he was like, But Paul, softest, nicest, kindest person I've ever known. And there wasn't a you know, like you'd be like, hey guys, how you doing? You're like, what's up, dude? And then someone one day, I was like, that guy's really soft and nice. And someone's like, Yeah, dude, you you gotta see what he can do. Like at the dorm, at the dorm, he was doing martial arts. I was like, he does martial arts, though. Like, yeah, he doesn't just do martial arts, he's a beast. And I was like, oh, really? And then I saw him and I was like, dude, nuts. He was so good. Yet he was so much of like, it was this beautiful synthesis. He didn't have to be macho. He was just, he was the guy. He was that guy, you know?

SPEAKER_00 31:18

And a lot of times when they're that trained, I've seen this. You, and that's why, like a good martial artist in a fight, you uh you and I both know if you tense up, you're you're slow, you're A, you're wearing yourself down, B, you're slowing down. I don't think fighters understand, like, wow, most street fighters wouldn't even know that. When you see a guy very calm, going, okay, okay, you know what that means? He's had so much training, the world is calm. It's almost like the matrix when they're throwing the punch and he's just kind of moving side by side. So yeah, I always tell people if you see the guy smiling and you're about to get an altercation, that's the guy that's gonna hurt you. You better be careful.

SPEAKER_01 31:52

There's a great video online. This kid is trying to like, he's a wannabe influencer and he's just being a total jackass. Trying to do some late night ordering like 70 menu meals at this restaurant. And the manager's like, you need to get out of here, man. You need to leave right now. And he's like, Oh man, I'll beat you up. He's like, I know how to do jujitsu. And the guy's like, and the guy's face just changes. He's like, You know jujitsu? And first of all, the people commenting said, he didn't just say jujitsu, he said, jujitsu, you know, and like, and then like, and then the dude pulls out, he just gets these smile and crazy eyes, and he pulls out his phone and shows it to the kid, and he's got a picture of him with a black belt with like these two grandmasters on either side. The person doing the narrating of the video is like, it was at this moment that he realized he messed up, you know, and it was like, I've seen that before, man. But like, what's funny, the the smiling part, straight up, you know, it it's so true. Like, I think that like at the end of the day, though, it's this synthesis, this balance. Like, I studied Chinese medicine and like my martial arts background, and I actually did my master's in Chinese medicine. I stopped before I got my doctorate, and like I had like six months left, but I've been living in Asia, so I wasn't able to go to my clinic shifts. But essentially, I have a doctorate almost in Chinese medicine, and the big thing in Chinese medicine is balance, yin and yang.

SPEAKER_00 33:13

Like, you can't always be this um yang in Korean, um yang, exactly. The duality of life, the duality of life, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 33:20

You gotta find that center point. And like, I want to ask you this too, because it comes back to as a father. First of all, one of the most beautiful videos I ever have seen is this, and like people are commenting on it. It's this guy, and his son has some type of muscular disorder, and he wears a full body brace, and he has this little walking thing, and the father was sitting there teaching him how to get up on the uh up the curve, and he was just patient. He's like, You can do it, little man. You can do this. Now you gotta lean back, but push up with your hands. And the kid did it for like 10, five minutes in the video, and he's like, I'm tired. And he's like, the dad's like, you did good, you did good today. And it was just like this. But and when they I had seen an interview with that father, and he's like, just like, I don't do this because I want to, I do it because it's my role, it's what I have to do, and I am lucky and blessed to do this. And I want to ask you, as a father raising a child with autism, what's something that completely changed the way you see the world?

SPEAKER_00 34:22

Oh, to me, it's funny. So I have was, I told you, my dad taught me discipline. I lost him two years ago. When my son walks the stage this Saturday, he's gonna have his pin on his robe. He was my my dad was his biggest supporter. My mother was my my mindset code. And I was taught to be a good human being. My brother and I were taught that. And I told you, when you're Greek, you have this concept of filotimo. But I I I fell into the slight, well, I was an ascending engineer boxing 200 pounds of muscle. And I think I at that stage in my early 20s, I, you know, I could say I was a bit of an egotist. And what my son taught me was both humility and more empathy. So I'd learned so much from my son, I can't tell you, my my oldest son, Gus. But it I talked about that that being a complete human being. I wasn't at that time. I was still a very much a mold, and what Gus did was right size of the ship. And now I almost look for people that need help and I try to dive in with assistance. And I will tell you too, um, so I I'm so lucky in that I have two incredible boys. Gus, who's gonna be graduating, I call my happy hippie. He, the way his brain works, Gus is incapable of a negative thought or talking negatively of people. I can't explain it, but it filters everything out. So he I he's always happy, always talking positively of people. And I think the world would be a better place if you're like that. And the beauty is I have my youngest son, Max, who I'm working with is like mindset as well. But Max is a savage, right? He's a 200 pounds of muscle football player, and it's this beautiful juxtaposition between the two. But what Gus has done for Max, I didn't even have to teach Max that end of it, is he saw the struggle his brother had. And Max, now, despite being a savage, would be the first one to jump out to help an old lady cross the road. So you learn from your children and going through that with Gus, like really planted the seed that, you know what, whoa, whoa, whoa, let me step back and I need to really help others. So I've learned so much from him. I'm so proud of him. And um, he's become uh in the autism community, I think a symbol for hope. This this weekend, they had 500 mothers. I would tell him, oh, by the way, he's graduating on Saturday college, and you'd see the eyes light up because right now they're in that abyss with that newly diagnosed child and they can't even see that. I mean, that's years away, but it gives them hope. And I, in fact, I I love, we were up in New York a year ago. He won a um a national courage award because I said to him, Listen, we're gonna open up our lives, by the way, to the world. If you don't want to have you don't want to happen, we don't, we won't do it. He walked in about 10 minutes later and said, if it'll help one person, Dad, I think we have to do it. And they heard that story and they flew us to New York and the um Lukumi Make a Difference Foundation, which is international, gave them one of the few courage awards they've ever given out. I was so proud. I love that, man.

SPEAKER_01 37:34

If you can make a difference, like make a difference. If you can do something, do something. One of the things that I love hearing is stories about people who step up, step up to the plate. And your plate might be different from someone else's. And don't think that it has to be grand and huge. It could simply be that you see someone having a bad day and you go, I'm here for you, man. I was joking, I I love to bring humor into things and like help motivate my team with humor. But the other day, I was joking with someone, and then one of my one of my um uh team members is he's special. He's just a different type of guy, and a lot of people don't understand him, you know? And I looked at him and he was like, Why do you joke with these people and not these people? And like, I just I was like, Well, why, man? He's like, you know, I'm having a tough day, everyone has a tough day sometimes. I was like, well, then talk to me about it. I said, tell me about what's going on. And he's like, Well, you know, someone died in my family last week. And I was like, Well, what do you need, man? Talk to me. Do you need a hug? He's like, Yes, I do. And I was like, All right, then bring it in. Bring it in. Like, and like, I some other people were like, What are you doing? I was like, dude, sometimes people need a hug. Sometimes people need just a hand on their shoulder saying, I'm here with you right now. And he started crying. And afterwards, I was like, You doing okay? He's like, Yeah, I'm okay now. And I think that like we don't realize the little, the huge impact we can have with little actions. Like, you can have a small action that can change someone's life. And I want to ask you this because sometimes it's hard. But if someone's feeling overwhelmed and doesn't know what to do next in life, what's a small step that you'd tell them to take today?

SPEAKER_00 39:18

So, the first thing I would say when I hear the word overwhelmed, what I've often found, especially from a neuroscience perspective, step away from everything. Go to a quiet spot. Um, for me, I work out at a local park, no one seems to go there. And it it's my zen moment where I could sit and kind of analyze things, but step away from the situation for a minute. I I love box breathing. It just, like I said, understanding the holding of four seconds, exhaling of it slows the heart rate down and analyze priorities. So I I long story short, in my book, I talk about the 2% rule. It's basically like atomic habits on steroids. I want you to picture this, Sean. I was walking in the house, we'd have therapists there. I'm hearing he needs speech therapy, he needs food therapy, he's not here where his peers are at. He's not there. It you want to talk about getting overwhelmed. And what I did, what I learned, and and this applies to the martial arts too. I mean, I think, you know, if you're a white belt throwing a punch in a black belt, that looks a lot different. And it's sitting back and going, okay, I would get away and I said, you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna pick one thing. I'm gonna eliminate the cacophony. I'm gonna pick one thing and I'm gonna make him 2% better today. Now, if I add to that, that's great. But what it did, instead of all these people chirping, and on top of that, you have to understand, you'd walk out of your house, you might have a neighbor say it, or you might even just visualize it and see it, my kid is not where his peer is at. And that haunts you. So what I found was, okay, today we're gonna do a food texture that he's struggling with, and we're gonna work on that. And every day, so what I would say to someone is if you feel the word overwhelm, get away from the situation, calm your heart rate down, isolate yourself, you want Zen, and then focus on the one priority that's very important at that point, and all the rest will fall into place. And that was my 2% rule. And it really, it is really, really res that 2% rule more than anything in my book has resonated with parents. They've got a hold of me and went, thank you, because you had so many people chirping in your ear, you're like, what the hell do I do first? You know, it's crazy.

SPEAKER_01 41:25

I think that the there's a book I'm reading called The One Thing right now. And I don't love it. Great book. And it's like great book. If you can break down the things that actually move the needle for you, like people don't realize that in life, you know, certainly we all have our lists, but every day there's one thing that's actually gonna get the needle moving in the right direction. You just have to figure out what is that one thing for you, and then lean in on it. Lean in on that one thing because if you can do that, man, the sky's the limit. But you have to go through that inner process of figuring out what those that one thing is, you know? And for everyone, it's different, you know, and I think that you've gotta like sit there and take that time to really understand, you know, what is first of all, what your North Star, what it is that you're trying to create, but also um, you know, how to get there. And I mean, I want to ask you this too, because there's a lot of like there's a lot of questions out there. But like, if your child asked you or someone asked you, how do I live a good life, what would you say is the answer to that? And the simplest possible answer.

SPEAKER_00 42:39

Simplest possible answer to me is a well, one, whatever you're doing, whether you're a student, whether you're employed, just do the best that you can do. Excel at what you're doing. Two, is just be good to others. Um, I I I really do. I believe in that ripple effect philosophy. Be kind to others, be empathetic, help others. And then I have a philosophy. If you're breathing air, you should be helping others. They want me to trademark that. I firmly believe in that. And and just the lastly, be a good human being. When I say that, right? And you should ask yourself these questions. Am I being the best father I can be? Am I being the best parent? Am I being like, how am I treating like my parents, you know, my I just have my mother now, she's 87. My wife, thank God, is a nurse, but we we treat her with kid gloves. We make sure she's taken care of. Am I taking care of my friends that are basically family? I call them family. You know, so be really good at what you're doing and succeed. Two, give back to society. And three, look at your role and excel at it. And and none of that, by the way, involves being toxic or edgy or negative. Right. And and you plume, you, you, as a human being, you you know what I mean? And it's, I think that would be those three simplistic things. But I again, that's my philosophy is if you're breathing air, I would tell anybody, help others, do what you can. That's simple. It's not hard.

SPEAKER_01 44:08

I think that the one of my friends told me he didn't have a big goal in life. He's like, a lot of people come in and they really know what they want to be doing, where they want to be going, and how they want to get there. And I said, Well, what do you have? He says, I want to be one thing. And I said, What's that? He says, I want to be a net positive. I want to be a person who shows up and I leave the world a little bit better than I found it. And he says, I don't have all those big answers. Like, I wish that I did. I wish that I could tell you that this is the meaning of life and this is what you should be doing. He's like, I don't have all those answers. But I do know that if I take little actions, I can be a net positive on my on this world. And I think that that to me is something that is rings so true. Because, you know, my father and I, we get into these debates all the time about what is the best of this or that. But you know what? I might disagree with him on a lot, but I 100% agree with my father on just being a good human being. And I think that that you don't have to have all the answers to know, to be kind, to be nice, to treat people with love and respect. Those are things that are going to resonate beyond this immediate moment in time, you know?

SPEAKER_00 45:30

Sean, I would say anyone listening to this, ask one question right now. If if if tomorrow you don't wake up, what's my legacy? Yeah. And I'm obsessive with it. I'm obsessive with it. I want people to look back and go, that guy did everything he could to make the world a better place. And and it and if I sound hallmark, so be it. I don't care. So be it, man. Who cares? Legacy, legacy to me matters. I'm obsessive with thinking about how my the perception of my voice, and I gotta tell you, it's kind of cool because um my in particular my youngest son with the sports world that I'm an influencer, all his friends think, I'm the cool dad, you know. But what what I even even like I said, even with the kids in a neighborhood, we had eight graduate with my son, Gus. They're all extension for me sons. I send them motivational messages, we keep in touch. I I'm obsessive on legacy. So if there's one question to ask yourself, which fits into everything you and I have talked about now the entire time, what is my legacy? And if it's not pretty, reevaluate what you're doing because you have time to change. You could change that very quickly. That's that would be that would be my suggestion.

SPEAKER_01 46:31

I love that. I want to ask you this: where can people, first of all, go and find a copy of your book? And then where can they go and find out more about you?

SPEAKER_00 46:39

So I am impossible not to find. Uh I've been writing sports articles for 30 years. I've probably done 40 podcasts for the book. Um, but again, my name is uh Harry Piseres. So if you go to Harry P-S A-R-O-S, Harry Piseres.com, you could find out about my book, my journey. Uh again, it's called From Struggle to Strength, A Father's Journey with Autism and the Power of Hope and Positivity. Um, we mentioned martial arts. There's a lot of Sun Tzu, a lot of Bruce Lee in here. I wanted to bring an edge, a warrior's mentality to raising a child on the spectrum, in uh in a good way, by the way. And you could see the boxing gloves. It's kind of universal. Gold's the color of hope. Um, Harry Piseris on Facebook, um, Harry Piseres on Instagram. I'm I've surpassed 30,000 followers now and we're still growing. And then uh more of the sports end on Twitter. I'm at pitguru, P-I-T-T-G-U-R-U. I was just on two Miami, I think I told you Dolphins podcasts. I'm I've been on ESPN, I'm all over the place. But um, I am not shy. If you are struggling mentally and want to get a hold of me, if you have a child on the spectrum, I tell people, get a hold of me. They're shocked because I will immediately get back to them. I counsel people all the time. I try to help them, reach out to me. I you and I just talked about helping others. I back up what I say. So reach out at any time. And it's it's been awesome talking with you, man. This has been it's been a unique interview for me. I love it.