Discipline Beats Motivation | Alan Stein, Jr. | The Sean Trace Show

In this episode of The Sean Trace Show, I sit down with Alan Stein, Jr. , a corporate keynote speaker, author, and former basketball performance coach who spent 20 years working with elite athletes, coaches, and high performers. 

What I loved about this conversation is how Alan breaks down success in a way that feels simple, practical, and real. We talk about why the best performers never get bored with the basics, how Kobe Bryant’s approach to fundamentals shaped Alan’s mindset, and why consistency matters more than motivation. Alan also shares how discipline, self-awareness, humility, emotional regulation, and clear daily systems separate high achievers from everyone else. This conversation is not just about basketball or business. It is about parenting, leadership, personal growth, and learning how to show up even when you do not feel like it. 

If you have ever felt stuck starting and stopping, this episode will remind you that success is built one disciplined decision at a time.

What basic habit do you know would change your life if you actually stayed consistent with it?

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

I could probably come up with a list of about a dozen or a baker's dozen of those traits that I believe are separator. Uh first, we've already discussed and teed up, and that's they have a strong respect and appreciation for the fundamentals. You know, the elite 1%, they don't try to skip steps. They understand that success is created from building blocks. And in starting at the bottom, that foundation are those fundamentals. Something else that unites high performers is so they work really hard on their craft and they earn the right to be confident. However, they blend that with humility. And it's humility that allows high performers and the upper 1% to still stay open to coaching and to stay open to feedback. Another one that separates high performers is they have very crystal clear goals and metrics that they're trying to achieve, but they focus on the process. They use goals for clarity and direction, but they are very process-oriented. And then a few others that I'll throw out there. And that discipline, they understand, is a choice. They realize that motivation is a feeling, but discipline is a decision. And then one more that I'll throw out there just to make it an even five is they're super consistent. They realize that consistency is a superpower and they show up as their best selves as consistently as possible, and they do the work that needs to be done as consistently as possible, regardless of how they feel. Every single person watching or listening to this is capable of doing the five things that I just mentioned and drastically leveling up their life or their business or whatever. Doesn't mean they'll be in the 1%, but it means they'll get a much better return than maybe they're currently getting if they're willing to commit to those five things. But my previous career was as a basketball performance coach. And I spent uh 20 years uh helping elite-level basketball players and coaches uh improve their encore performance. And I now translate all of those messages and disciplines and routines that I learned uh from those elite athletes. And I teach executives and sales professionals and business owners and managers how to apply those same principles uh to business and and to life. And uh I love what I do and I'm grateful for every opportunity to do it. That's awesome to me.

SPEAKER_00 2:32

But like how much crossover is there between like what an elite athlete does and what a business person does, or even a parent does for that matter? Just like how much crossover is there? Super high crossover.

SPEAKER_01 2:45

I mean, the the principles of high performance have very high utility and really apply to every industry and every facet of life. I mean, it any domain at which you're aiming for excellence and peak performance, uh, most of these uh uh principles will translate. I mean, really the only exception with professional athletes is the physical component. I mean, they uh, you know, it's in their best interest to be big, strong, fast, explosive, agile, in great condition, you know, and so forth. Whereas if you're an entrepreneur or an executive or a sales professional, while I still encourage you to take care of your body and to be in good health, it doesn't really matter what your 40-yard time is or what your vertical jump is or how much you can bench press. So, really outside of that physical component, everything else has massive utility and massive transfer and crossover.

SPEAKER_00 3:35

I love that. Well, I wanted to ask you then, too, because it does make sense to me, but you spent like 15 years working with guys that are high-level basketball players. And I mean, some of the names were like absolutely floor me. These are guys I totally respect, and these are champions, you know. Uh, you know, what did you think success looked like before that? And how did that change once you were actually around these guys?

SPEAKER_01 3:59

The biggest surprise to me was I expected people that had already ascended to that level of mastery to be working on a lot of flash and things with a lot of sizzle and a lot of really advanced stuff, when in reality, they spent a good portion of their time refining the basics, refining the fundamentals, working towards mastery of the basics and the fundamentals. Now, that doesn't mean that's all they did. I mean, certainly they absolutely graduated to working on more advanced moves and, you know, footwork and things like that. But what made them different was they never left the basic. You know, those elite-level players and those elite-level coaches that I've worked with and worked for and worked alongside made sure that the fundamentals of the game of basketball, shooting, passing, rebounding, defending, and handling the ball were a major staple of everything that they did. And that's one of the main lessons that I preach and teach both on stage and on page now, is to work towards mastery of the basics and the fundamentals, but simultaneously be open to working on advanced techniques, be open to new uh technologies like AI, be open to new uh approaches and perspectives. You know, so it's it's never about siphoning yourself off and just living in a silo of the basics. It's about working towards refinement and mastery of them while still leaning in to new things and being a risk taker and trying new techniques. I mean, to me, in the business world now, the the groups, the organizations, the leaders, and the individuals that can balance those two things the best simultaneously will be the ones that win. The ones that that realize, hey, there are basic principles in leadership, in communication, in business and in culture that we need to continue to work on. But we better lean into things like AI, because if not, we'll be left behind. And the and the groups and the individuals that do those two things together the best will be the ones that win in every area of life and every industry.

SPEAKER_00 5:58

I think that, you know, one of the things that I I love, I love so much of what you're talking about right there. But I think that, you know, utilizing every tool that you have at your you know disposal. Like if you've got a new thing that you can lean into, then then lean into that. You know, if you have a different way to approach something, I mean, certainly there's I go back to the movie Moneyball. Like, I love that movie. I absolutely love that movie because here all these people had these techniques that they're like, you know, I just how do you know a guy's a good baseball player? I just know. When I see a good baseball player, I know, you know, and then finally some guys are like, well, let's see if we can break that down. It was a new tool, it was a new technique. And I think we are faced with these things all the time. And one of the things, too, that with when I wasn't aiming to dive in on AI, but like, I'm not terrified of AI. I just know that we all have to adapt with it and learn new ways. Like, I think we're humankind did see something this revolutionary once before. And I would say the invention of the car, the automobile. Now, I my great-grandma, uh, my mom told me this story about my great-grandma. They were got the family's first car, and she had been used to buggies and wagons her whole life, and the car went above 20 miles an hour, and she drove out the side of the car door. Like, I can't handle this, you know. But you go back to like 1899 and you start telling people, you know what? There's this new technology coming, and it's going to change everything. What was one of the most common jobs in the US before that? Blacksmiths, people doing horse shoots, you know, uh farriers, like the people who trim the horse hoofs. You go back to some guy, like, dude. I'm gonna tell you about this job, some guy in 1910. You're like, all right, it's called a drive-thru car wash. You don't understand it yet, but it's gonna be a big deal at some point in time. Like, well, I don't know what that is, you know. You know, car detailing, car automobile restoration, you know, uh all of these things that like modifications didn't have any frame of reference for those people at that time, but yet, you know, created a whole new industry. And I think that with your embracing new tools, you're embracing new things, it you can redefine how you can achieve excellence. You can redefine how you can achieve success, but you got to be open-minded to new ways to get there, you know?

SPEAKER_01 8:28

Yeah, and it takes a little courage to do that as well. You know, uh what one of my favorite books, but also one of my favorite concepts, and I and I think this is arguably one of the best titles of a book I've ever heard, is Marshall Goldsmith's book, What Got You Here Won't Get You There. And that's something that really resonates with me. Just even that terminology. And that's the way that I, excuse me, I choose to look at AI. You know, another inflection point in addition to the invention of the car was really the internet, you know, and email, and soon to follow social media. You know, these again were things where I'm sure, you know, when the internet first came out, there were a variety of businesses uh that were very hesitant to embrace, you know, putting their brand online or much less even considering selling products or services online. Um, but but now in 2026, we realize how ridiculous that would be to try to resist the internet or email or social media. And the the folks that that lean into those things and are curious and have the courage to say, let me give this a try. Let me play with this, even though it's new, even though it's uncomfortable, you know, um, because I have a feeling that several years from now, there will not be a single aspect of life or of business that is not heavily affected by AI. But it, as you just said so perfectly, it doesn't need to be something we fear. It needs to be something that we're curious about and figure out well, how how can we use this or how can I integrate this into what I'm doing, or how can this make what I do more efficient? I mean, you know, for me uh as a keynote speaker, uh, I'm not really worried that AI is going to replace keynote speakers at in-person corporate events. So I choose to use AI in a variety of capacities to make what I do more scalable, to make it more efficient, to make it more effective. I use it for creating content and for creating different graphics and and ways to uh uh edit my video and put more content out there to attract more business. So I think we all need to lean into it, to not be fearful of it. And and admittedly, there are some jobs or industries that will be more heavily impacted by AI than others. Um, and and similar to your example of the blacksmith, uh had the blacksmiths at that time had the foresight to say, hey, right now I make my living by by making horseshoes, but I need to pivot a little bit and maybe learn how to make uh tires or rims or car parts, or how can I use my skill sets but pivot them in a way that it'll be to an advantage of this new technology that's coming out. And and again, I I'm trying to do this in my own life, um, you know, but I'm also uh doing it for other reasons. I mean, I'm the father of three teenage kids and and my children, they don't know a world without the internet, without social media. And and now they're heavily embracing AI. I mean, my my twin sons are 16 years old and they use Chat GPT the same way I've used Google for the last 15 to 20 years. So just for me to be able to have a connection and to be able to parent my children most effectively, I need to be learning what it is that they're learning. So, yeah, to me, this should be a time of optimism and excitement, not a time of fear or trepidation.

SPEAKER_00 11:48

Right. Well, I want to ask you this too, because um there's so much to unpack. I I just am so fascinated by your background, but like I want to slide back into something like you've seen the top 1% up close in a lot of different fields. What separates them from what um that most people completely missed? Like, what's something that differentiates those people that are like super high achievers, you know?

SPEAKER_01 12:15

I could probably come up with a list of about a dozen or a baker's dozen of those traits that I believe are separators, but I'll I'll just throw out a few right now and then uh you tell me which threads you want to pull on or which ones you want to go deeper on. Uh first, we've already discussed and teed up, and that's they have a strong respect and appreciation for the fundamentals. You know, the elite 1%, even though they've ascended to a very high level of mastery and a high level of success and achievement, they don't try to skip steps. They understand that that success is created from building blocks, and in starting at the bottom, that foundation are those fundamentals. So they they don't try to skip steps, they embrace the fundamentals. Um, something else that unites high performers is they earn the right to be confident because they put in the work. Like they get in the repetitions. They understand that repetition is not a form of punishment. Repetition is the gateway to mastery. So they work really hard on their craft and they earn the right to be confident. However, they blend that with humility. And it's humility that allows high performers in the upper 1% to still stay open to coaching and to stay open to feedback and to stay open to reading and watching and listening content or shows like yours so that they can continue to take in new information. But most importantly, humility is what reminds them that even though they're in the upper 1%, they know they can still get better. They don't get caught up in the comparison game of saying, hey, I'm better than you, so I'm good. They get caught up in the game of, hey, am I as good as I'm capable of being? Or am I better than I was before? So that blend of humility and confidence is important. Uh, another one that separates high performers is um they have very crystal clear goals and metrics that they're trying to achieve, but they focus on the process. They focus on systems, they focus on what they do every single day. Uh, they use goals for clarity and direction, but they are very process-oriented. They wake up every day and say, okay, what do I need to focus on today to inch me just a little bit closer to that North Star that I've set, you know, a year from now or five years from now. So they stay very process centered. And then a few others that I'll throw out there. Um the upper 1% usually have a very high level of discipline. And that discipline, they understand, is a choice. They realize that motivation is a feeling, but discipline is a decision. And they don't rely on motivation, but they decide to make disciplined decisions. And a disciplined decision is a decision you make in the moment that's most aligned with the person you're trying to become or the goal that you've set. So they usually make very disciplined decisions. And then one more that I'll throw out there just to make it an even five is they're super consistent. They realize that consistency is a superpower. And they show up as their best selves as consistently as possible, and they do the work that needs to be done as consistently as possible, regardless of how they feel, regardless of whether they want to, regardless of whether or not it's convenient. They do it because it's something that drives them, it's something that's important to them, and because they've set a goal. So consistency is a controllable superpower. But one of the things that I find a tremendous amount of optimism in is that all of those things I just said to you are available and capable of all of us. Like not a single thing that I shared. There's no barrier to entry to doing those things. Now, depending on what field or industry we're talking about, just like in professional sports, where you need a requisite amount of talent and you need a requisite amount of athletic ability. You know, no one would argue that in many areas of business, I mean, you you need a certain amount of intellect, you need a certain amount of emotional intelligence. So I'm not implying that everyone is capable of being in the 1%, because by definition, that's mathematically impossible. But what I am saying is that every single person watching or listening to this is capable of doing the five things that I just mentioned and drastically leveling up their life or their business or whatever. Doesn't mean they'll be in the 1%, but it means they'll get a much better return than maybe they're currently getting if they're willing to commit to those five things.

SPEAKER_00 16:24

I think that I love every single one of those. And I'm gonna tell my editing team, Trey, right now, editor, tree, you're watching this. I know you're watching this, turn those five things into reels because damn they were good. You know? You gotta show up. And if you're not showing up, there's no way that you can be successful. Like, but if you're you don't even you're not even on the court, you're not even playing the game if you're not showing up. You know, it's like I could I beat uh a great basketball player one-on-one, probably no way in hell, you know. I I am pretty, pretty damn sure, unless there is a lightning strikes, and I'm just like, well, hello, lightning. Thank you, Zeus, for you know, gifting me this opportunity. But no, like, but if I don't even step on the court, there's no chance of winning. You know, there is a chance, a weird freakish chance that I could succeed. But you know, that's only because I'm showing up. And like if you keep showing up, but like, let's let's be real. Let's say I show up every single day, every single day, and I'm taking shots, every single day, and I'm getting better, every single day, and I'm practicing some fundamental. Okay, I still probably won't be able to beat that famous NBA player. But you know what will happen? I'm gonna get better. I'm gonna get a lot better. And playing a regular game with just the average Joe, I'm gonna be crushing it, you know? And I think that's one of the things we have to reframe the metric. I shouldn't be framing it as sh, can I beat some famous NBA player? I should be framing it as can I be better than myself yesterday? And can I step up my game to a point where it's a lot more enjoyable and I'm doing a great job in the process, you know?

SPEAKER_01 18:24

Absolutely. Well, let's let's I love that example, but we can reframe it even a little bit more. You know, this just reminded me that one of the other differences between sport and let's say business is sport by design is zero sum. There is a winner and there is a loser. It's very black and white. Now, that's also what makes sport so invigorating and so fun to watch. Um, but but business is a little different because yes, you have competition uh within your industry, but it's not zero sum. If you truly have an abundant mindset, there can be multiple winners. Now, uh Amazon uh is the is the Titan. So yeah, maybe my small business is never going to out-earn Amazon, but it doesn't matter because I don't need it to out earn Amazon for me to be successful or for me to live a fruitful life or for me to continue to grow my business. So, in that example, yeah, you may never be able to beat the elite-level basketball player one-on-one, but that doesn't really matter. Uh, if you take the abundant mindset and apply that to your business or your podcast or whatever it is that you're trying to grow and improve, you just have to believe there's enough out there for everyone. I mean, I I'll use that as my own example. I mean, you know, I've been in the speaking game. This is my ninth year now, and I've got lots of friends and colleagues in the business who are unbelievable speakers. I mean, they are world-class speakers. Their mastery of craft is incredible. You know, their fees are higher than mine. They're on bigger stages than I am. I mean, I look at them and want to emulate some of the traits that they've worked towards mastery of, but they in no way, shape, or form affect my ability to grow my business or affect my ability to love what I do or work on my craft. So I don't get caught up in playing the comparison game of, you know, is this speaker better than me or not? I don't worry about that. I just worry about am I the best keynote speaker that I'm capable of being? Am I delivering measurable value to the clients that hire me and to the events that bring me in? Am I getting better at my craft and is my business growing? And all of that stuff is up to me. Now, yes, there are different external and extraneous things that can make that either more fluid or have more friction. But at the end of the day, I'm not worried about being better than anybody else. I'm just worried about being the best that I'm capable of. And I know that sounds a little, you know, laissez faire to a lot of people, um, but I'm highly competitive. I mean, this this is not about me, you know, uh like not being competitive. This is about me leaning into the things that I have control over and defining my own success. Because, you know, in sport, success is really predefined because it's defined by winning and losing. And again, that's kind of what makes sport so fun. But in business, you really get to determine what you consider to be successful in life, in your marriage as a parent, like you determine whether or not uh things are successful. I mean, like with my own children, like my the measure of my success as a father for me has nothing to do with how well my kids play sports or what their grades are or what colleges they may go to. Mine is all about do my kids know that I love them unconditionally? Do my kids feel safe enough to be open and honest and have hard conversations with me? Do my kids know that I love them, I'm proud of them, and I have their back. You know, those to me are the measures, and of course they're more subjective, but but the answer to those questions would define, in my eyes, whether or not I'm a successful father. Whether or not my kids go to Harvard has nothing to do with me. Being a successful father.

SPEAKER_00 22:01

Right? I think that that's it. You have to judge, you have to frame it against the proper metric, you know. And if you're not, it's gonna be really hard. And you got to rethink about what that metric is, you know. And I want to ask you another question, though, because was there a moment or player that really changed how you think about discipline or work ethic?

SPEAKER_01 22:23

I mean, there have been several along the way. And one of the cool things of my journey is most of the work I did was at the elite high school level. That's I was able to use that to parlay into um events for Nike and Jordan Brand and USA basketball and the Skills Academies and so forth. But, you know, I had players that that you or none of your listeners or viewers have ever heard of that taught me very important lessons and and really helped reshape my trajectory. Um, but as far as those that are notable, you know, uh the the very first lesson I ever learned from Kobe Bryant back in 2007 was kind of how we started this conversation. He he said the best never get bored with the basics. And that really opened my eyes up because as a young coach at the time, you know, I thought being successful was doing the sexy stuff, doing the sizzle, doing the cranky stuff, when in fact it wasn't. And ever since that day, you know, because I realized in in 2007, you know, Kobe was the best player in the world. And I figure if the best player in the world is going to work on mastery of the basics, then certainly I should do the same thing. And really in every area of my life, it doesn't matter if it's parenting, uh, you know, a keynote talk, growing my business, my own health and fitness and wellness, whatever it is that I'm aiming for excellence in, the very first thing I do is I figure out what are the basic building blocks to excellence in that domain. Like what are the fundamentals that go into being excellent in that domain? And then I work towards mastery of those fundamentals. And I do so with tremendous discipline, and I do so with just unwavering consistency. And over time, I'm able to achieve pretty good success in all of those areas. And I and I say this with a huge smile. Uh I'm not world-class in any of these things. I'm not one of the top five speakers on the planet. I'm not on the cover of men's health. You know, I'm certainly not going to get a contract in the NBA, but I don't worry about any of those things. I just worry about am I as good as I'm capable of being or working towards being good as good as I'm capable of being in each of those areas, and am I making progress? And I can tell you right now, Sean, with a huge amount of pride and a huge smile, I'm a better father today than I was one, three, and five years ago. I'm in better shape today mentally, physically, and emotionally than I was one, three, five years ago. Business is better today than it was one, three, five years ago. I'll give a better keynote later this week in Las Vegas than I gave one, three, or five years ago. So I'm moving in the right direction. And for me, that's what's most important is the trajectory at which I'm headed, not where I am at the moment.

SPEAKER_00 24:59

I want to ask you this too, because I love that. It's like people think that it's all about the end result. Or like I'm I'm I'm uh I I've got uh full battery media hats, my company, right? I made them all different colors. But I made one that's my daughter's uh color color. Like she helped me design these because she's got her own little YouTube channel that we produce. But beautiful. Like I uh I have uh full battery media hats in the colors of my favorite team, the Boston Celtics. I grew up outside Boston and grew up going to watch Larry Bird, Robert Parrish, Kevin McHale, I'm dating myself when I was a little little kid. But then, you know, I loved watching Kevin Garnett and Paul Pierce and them going up against the Lakers in the in the late 2000s. Now, why I bring it up is because with this, this season just ended for the Celtics and got knocked out in the first round. But they weren't even supposed to be there. You know, Tatum was out for a season, they traded away their entire roster and had a bunch of no-name guys that were just like happy to be there, but they had a great coach, they had a great work ethic, and everyone's like, oh, you know, and I've been I was reading people in like the sports talk radio who were like, these guys just bombed out, it shows you it reflects on them as individuals. I was like, dude, these guys crushed it. They got to the first round, like they got in there and they did great. I think that we have these impossible goals when really, you know, you gotta frame like what success is for you correctly and and drown out the noise because it's never good enough for these critics. You know, it it's like they will always find something to like, oh, it's not this, it's not that. Actually, no, you're probably doing a great job right now.

SPEAKER_01 27:01

Yes. And for me, one of the things I've really adopted over the last several years is understanding that two things that appear to be opposing or contradictory actually can coexist at the same time. And I think it's important for us to have open minds in doing that. Uh, here's a perfect example. I I set um a speaking revenue goal uh the last several years, uh a target that I wanted to hit as far as revenue earned from speaking fees. And for three straight years, I've I fell short of that goal. Um the first year I fell short by about 20 to 25 percent. Uh the next year it was only about 10 or 15%. The last year I fell short by only 10%. But but uh before I get to the real punchline, each of those years, even though I fell a little bit short, my business still grew. In fact, the one year that I fell 20% short of the goal, I still doubled my business from the previous year. So on one hand, I can look and say, hey, I fell short of a goal. But on the other hand, it was the best year that I'd ever had as a speaker. So those two things can coexist at the same time and they're very interrelated. Now, this past year, I actually hit the goal for the first time. But it took three swings of the bat to finally hit it. And every year when I would fall a little short, I would lift up the hood and I would tinker a little bit and go, okay, you know, what are some tweaks or some pivots or things I need to do slightly differently to hopefully inch me closer to finally hitting that goal? And now that I've hit it, I'm not resting on that because every year the slate is clean and I got to start over. So then I go back and I say, all right, what things worked really well that allowed me to hit the goal, but what are some new things I can try? What are some some other you know, tweaks and things that I can I can do differently? So I think it's really important to remember that none of this is zero sum, none of this is all or nothing. And and to your example of the Celtics, yes, on one hand, I'm sure everyone's goal at the beginning of the season is to win the NBA championship. So they they did fall short of that, but at the exact same time, they can be unbelievably proud about going to the making the playoffs and taking the the 76ers to a game seven in the first round when, as you mentioned, they were missing their main superstar, a supermax player, and they were missing uh, you know, they had somewhat of a depleted roster. So each player on that team should be able to look in the mirror and say, hey, I made strides forward, I improved, I got better collectively. We overachieved what everyone thought we were able to do. But yes, we did fall short of our ultimate goal. But those two things can live in the same space, and it's totally fine.

SPEAKER_00 29:42

I love that. They can, you know, and I think that's one of the things, too, that is so special for me. But like, I want to transition too, because you talked about how we've been drifting towards it, but like at what point did you realize this isn't just about basketball? This applies to business and life as well. And how did you start realizing, hey, I want to start applying these principles in a new area?

SPEAKER_01 30:04

So toward the end of 2016, uh in full transparency, I started to get a little burnt out on being in the basketball training space. You know, I'm a former basketball player, so I've been around basketball my entire life. And, you know, spending almost 20 years in gyms and in weight rooms, 12, 15 hours a day, working with players to improve, you know, their on court uh capacity for work, their athleticism, their explosiveness. You know, I loved it while I did it, but I started to get burnt out on that. I started to have more of a curiosity for leadership and communication and building culture and so forth. So I was just ready for a change. You know, I loved my time in basketball. I'm grateful for every player that I got to work with, work for, work alongside. I'm so grateful for all of the lessons I learned, but I was ready for a new challenge. I was ready for a new audience, and I was ready for something that that really I found, you know, I was curious and stimulated by. So I decided to leave and head to the corporate space to share these same principles. Now, I still feel very connected to the game of basketball because most of the things that I share on stage and on page are these lessons and principles and approaches and philosophies and perspectives and disciplines that I learned through the game. So, you know, when I'm on stage in front of a corporate audience, I'm telling stories about, you know, meeting Kobe Bryant or working with Kevin Durant or meeting Coach Kay. And I'm just teaching them how to translate those messages into what they do. So I still feel very connected to the game. I still love the game and actually watched that game seven, unfortunately, with that your Celtics fell a little short. So I still love the game of basketball, but I really love the craft of helping folks improve their business and their leadership and their production and their performance in the business world. Because as we've already alluded to several times now, it's really all the same stuff.

SPEAKER_00 31:55

Really is. At the end of the day, it's really the same stuff. And I wanted to ask you this too, because for someone who's just trying to get their life together, not an NBA player, what are some of the fundamentals they should focus on first?

SPEAKER_01 32:09

Well, the most important for any of us is to increase our level of self-awareness. You know, that that needs to always be the starting point for a variety of reasons. But the most important, you'll never improve something you're unaware of and you'll never fix something you're oblivious to. So we we we really need to do things to help heighten our self-awareness. And increasing self-awareness, it takes courage. It takes humility, it takes an open mind. You know, it takes being willing to look at the other side of the curtain because, you know, self-awareness is really the entire cocktail that makes us who we are. Uh, most people are fine looking at what I'll just say in air quotes as the good stuff. Like they know their goals and their dreams, they know their strengths, they know the things they love to do, but do you also have the courage to look on the other side of that curtain? Do you know your fears and your insecurities and your traumas and your baggage? Do you know your shortcomings and admit that we all have them? I mean, as human beings, we're all flawed and we're all fallible, you know. But are you willing to lean into that stuff and have an understanding of all of that? Because it's the good, the bad, and the ugly with each of us that makes us who we are. You can't just cherry pick the good stuff, right? You've got to be willing to look the other stuff in the eye. And um, you know, to me, and this this sounds somewhat contradictory, but it's not. The way we increase self-awareness is by consulting with the people that are closest to us that know us the best, because they can see blind spots that we can't see. And, you know, if if you're really interested in increasing self-awareness, you know, create some type of internal audit for yourself, but then share it with the people that know you your best. You know, maybe it's your spouse, or maybe if you have older children, or maybe it's a sibling or a parent, maybe it's a coworker or a neighbor, uh, a friend at church or or whatever. But but ask yourself certain questions, like, what things am I really good at? What things come naturally to me, what things do I love, but also ask yourself, you know, what areas do I find most challenging? What are my biggest opportunities for growth? And then ask the people closest to you to fill out that same audit on your behalf. And then you'll have an idea of how accurate you're seeing yourself. Because if you see yourself very differently than the way the other people see you, then there's probably a major disconnect in your self-awareness. And ask those people those questions and and and ask them, you know, to tell you the hard truth. You know, what are things that that I need to hear that people are afraid to tell me is a great question to ask people that are very close to you. And then you can start figuring some of this stuff out. And the reason self-awareness is important is just like with the traditional GPS that we have on our phone when we're navigating directions, a GPS only needs two coordinates. It needs where you were in the moment and it needs where you're trying to go. Those are the only things the GPS cares about. It doesn't care about anything else. The GPS doesn't care where you were five minutes ago, five days ago, five weeks ago, or five months ago. It needs to know where you are right now in this moment, and then it needs to know where it is that you're trying to go. And then the GPS job is to help you navigate the most effective and efficient route to get there. And that's really what are the two coordinates that all of us need to know is exactly where are we and who are we in this moment right now. That's the self-awareness. And then what is the vision or goal or north star that we have for the future that we're trying to get to? And that can change, just like your GPS coordinates can change. You might change your mind and decide to go to a different hotel or a different beach. That's fine. But at this moment, you need to know where you are with high self-awareness and where you're trying to go or who you're trying to become. And then you can start putting together a plan in your life to actually navigate connecting the two dots and getting there.

SPEAKER_00 36:04

Yeah, I love that. You know, one of the questions that I had too, because I I think that you touched on it, but like, and I know you talk about this because I think that one of the most important things is to keep it simple. When you start getting stuff that's too complex, you know, and I was working with my daughter on um on uh we do martial arts together, and she does Muay Thai, but I'm a black belt in judo and I trained Muay Thai with her, I love it. But like I I was trying to teach her a basic hip throw. And I was like, step one, you go here, step two, we do this, step three, and I was like, all you gotta do is put your arm around them, step across, and pull. And she's like, That's it. I said, That's it. Step in front of them, put your arm around them, and then pull. She did it. She was like, Oh, that's way easier than I thought. I remember when I was taught that they taught me about 12 different movements to do that same thing. And I was just like, I was always sitting there overwhelmed. And suddenly one of my friends was like, just go like this. And I was like, Oh, wow. And it worked. But you talk about simplicity over complexity. But why do people keep overcomplicating success even when the basics are clear? Like, just keep showing up, have the right intention, the right work ethic, you know?

SPEAKER_01 37:30

Oh, absolutely. In fact, one of the lines I use in my keynotes is complexity undermines execution. And at the end of the day, every area of life is about our ability to execute. It's about action. It's not about what we talk about, it's it's what we actually do and put into practice and we implement. So for me, I'm always trying to untether from the unnecessarily complex and break things down. And as the sign above my head says, I'm trying to simplify success. You know, if you can teach an effective judo hip throw in three steps, then why would you take 12? You know, if you can get rid of your headache with one, you know, with one Advil, why would you take five? You know, I I want to do the bare minimum required to get the maximum result possible. So sometimes people automatically click off when they hear bare minimum because they're taking that out of context. I believe in simplifying things. And I think people that can actually make complex ideas and complex problems simplified, those are the real geniuses of the world. So my goal is to simplify every single area of my life because it will increase the chance that it gets implemented, increase the chance that it'll be executed upon. And to answer your question, you know, I think there's a variety of reasons that people overcomplicate things. I mean, one of them is at the end of the day, it's hard to sell things that aren't flashy and sexy. You know, it's hard to sell the basics. You know, it's it's hard to sell a fitness routine that only consists of lunges, dips, and pull-ups. But I tell you what, you do lunges, dips, and pull-ups consistently most days of the week for a year, you'll get very fit and very strong. Like we don't have to overcomplicate it, but it's hard to sell those things. What people love to sell is the flash, is the sexy, is the secret that, hey, you've got to do this really complicated, intricate thing that I came up with and it's gonna get you where you need to go. I mean, really, I mean, think about it. Anyone watching or listening to this, if you want to get in better physical condition, I mean, really, you need to move your body consistently, you know, preferably with some type of weight-bearing exercise. You need to consume nutritious foods and an appropriate amount, and that's about it. I mean, I know there's a lot more nuance to that, but as far as basic principles, move your body a little more, eat a little bit less, and you'll start to get in better shape. Now, again, I I there are nuances to that. There is more to it than just that, but the basic principles will work. I mean, think about the the basic principle of business is offer more in value than you ask in payment. I mean, that's the that's rule 101. If whatever service or product you're offering delivers more in value than you're asking for people to pay you, you'll be incredibly successful. Now, in order to do that, there is a tremendous amount of nuance on how you can, you know, manipulate that, but but that's the basic principle. You know, I always joke with basketball players and coaches. You know, if you want to win basketball games, well, it's pretty simple. On offense, take the highest percentage shot possible, and on defense, make your opponent take the lowest percentage shot possible. You do those two things and you win basketball games. Now, yes, there's a lot of nuance on how you can do those, but but we I believe in starting with the basics and not adding anything to the plate that makes it unnecessarily complex.

SPEAKER_00 40:52

I love that. Well, I had another question for you too, because like, what is um, you know, when someone keeps starting and stopping, motivation up and down, how can they shift their mindset to finally stay consistent and keep showing up?

SPEAKER_01 41:10

Well, they need to stop relying on motivation because uh ultimately motivation goes up and down for all of us. I mean, because motivation is in fact a feeling. And just like any other feeling, no one feels a certain emotion 24-7. Now, I'm not arguing that some people are more intrinsically motivated more consistently than other people, of course. But there's also some people walking the earth that tend to be more happy more often than other people. Like you can pick any emotion, uh, but but they're they're somewhat fleeting. So if you're always relying on feeling motivated to give your best effort or to put in work, then you'll be inconsistent by design because nobody feels motivated 24-7. Uh instead, they need, I would recommend to those folks to rely more on discipline is to build the discipline muscle of making decisions in the moment, even when you don't feel like it, or you're not motivated, or it's inconvenient, um, making the decision that most aligns with your goal or who it is that you're trying to become. Because motivation is just not a reliable fuel. And the beautiful part is when you learn to build the discipline muscle and you rely on discipline instead, then when you are feeling motivated, use that to the ninth degree. I mean, use that as gasoline on the fire. I mean, use that to put in extra work or get in that extra rep. You know, motivation is wonderful. I just don't believe in using it as the source of how we show up. You know, because if if I'm only going to show up and give my best when I feel like it, then I'm going to be inconsistent. And we've already said during this conversation, consistency is a controllable superpower. It is a massive separator. You know, the folks that show up every single day, regardless of how they feel, you know, they believe in something Nick Saban used to call standards over feelings. Like you show up and you behave and you perform to a standard, you don't perform to how you feel. You know, just because you're in a low mood doesn't give you a right to not show up as your best self. You have to learn how to be able to overcome that. Now, with that said, it's a very important distinction to make that I never want folks to suppress their feelings or ignore their feelings or resist them. There is nothing wrong with feeling demotivated or feeling disappointed or discouraged or angry. We have those feelings for a reason. And it's okay for you to acknowledge them and give yourself the permission to feel them, but you don't let them drive the car. You know, there's an old thing as far as our, you know, our emotions are designed to inform us. They're not designed to direct us. So emotions are just data that are letting us know how we're navigating the world, but you don't let them drive the car. Uh, you know, I mean, so when when I'm feeling upset or angry, I allow myself to feel that way, but I don't allow myself, I don't allow my anger or frustration to dictate my behavior. So I don't have a right to be rude to you just because I'm feeling angry about an argument I had with my kids. I'm allowed to feel angry. I'm allowed to process those feelings. There's nothing wrong with that. But if I start letting that dictate how I behave or treat others or the decisions I make, then we've got a problem. And I really believe that those that can regulate their emotions to that degree, those that can separate how they feel from how they perform or how they show up, that is an incredibly valuable skill set. I love that. Where can people go to find out more about you and what you do? So my website is just AllensteinJr.com, and that's kind of the hub of everything that I offer. Um I'm also very easily found and very accessible on social media, and I'm just at Allenstein Jr. on all of the major platforms. Um if anyone is interested in reaching out, there's a contact form on the website, or just shoot me a DM on Instagram or LinkedIn. I'm very good about getting back to folks. Um, and then I've got uh three different books uh Raise Your Game, Sustain Your Game, and my brand new book, Next Play, uh, that you can get um on Amazon or Audible or wherever you'd like to get your books and audio books. So I'm I'm pretty easily found.

SPEAKER_00 45:09

That's awesome. Well, brother, I want to say thank you so much. This has been a masterclass. And I you have so many great one-liners. Like, I gotta go back and re-listen to this myself because man, some days it's hard, like you know, like you said, with the with the motivation, it does, it's not always there. But the habits are. And you gotta, you gotta, you sit there, you know, that that superpower of consistency is so true, man.

SPEAKER_01 45:34

Yes, absolutely. And and and I'll end with this because this has been a really fun conversation. I would imagine a lot of either high performers or aspiring high performers follow you and watch your show and consume your content. And it's been my experience that many high performers can also be really hard on themselves. They can be very self-critical, they they can be very judgmental. And and I just want to offer, you know, to allow yourself the space and grace to feel these different things. Like there's nothing wrong with you if you're feeling demotivated. In fact, I would encourage you to acknowledge it and own the fact that you don't feel really motivated to finish that project right now, yeah, but then rise above that by making a disciplined decision. You know, the way we talk to ourselves is incredibly important in our confidence and our self-worth and how we show up. And I just want to encourage high performers to be kinder and more compassionate to ourselves, you know, to try not to judge yourself or be super critical when you're feeling low, but instead give yourself the space to feel how you're feeling and then do your best to make decisions that will rise above that. But uh yeah, man, this was a really fun conversation, and I appreciate you and the work you do.